Willa

Chapter Seventeen: Thanksgiving *

October and November had been quite a pleasant surprise with a new town to discover. Living upon the coast, it offered cold coastal breezes that could chill your bones if you didn't wrap up enough, but they made me feel alive. Halloween was spent walking Teddy around as a famous basketball player, whilst simultaneously trying to keep her little body from hyperthermia, as Calliope and I fought her to put more on more then a vest.  "No" she would say all night as we try to slyly place a jacket over her shoulders. Calliope and Teddy I had learnt came as a twosome, and if I got Calliope I got Teddy. No matter what we were doing, even if it wasn't age appropriate, Theodora Nomikos was sure to follow and try her best to tag along, to her sisters annoyance.

I spent these first colder months in beanie hats and oversized sweaters, bundled up with Mary of an evening beside the wood burner, sharing hot chocolates and watching romances she enjoyed on the cable.

"Why do you always watch Hetero romances" I ask her as we lay on the couch watching some 18th century classic love story. The man rides by on a horse and saves the girl who has twisted her ankle in the rain. "Don't tell me... she's going to die from being rained on for five minutes" I ask sarcastically as I watch Mary swoon at the scene playing out. The handsome man, who by the way, looks far
too old for this girl, swoops her up onto his horse, and being rather panicked for her frailty takes her home swiftly, where her mother and sisters wrap her up in bed and fear for her health. I let out a wicked laugh "knew it" I say sipping my warm drink.

Mary sends me a sideways look "Willa don't ruin it for me" she whispers as she tears up at the scene. "And I don't only watch hetero romances, but if you've ever seen the lesbian ones... you would understand... they either kill one off, have one go back to her boyfriend, or they make out that one goes crawling back into the closet, leaving her best friend heartbroken. They are, excuse my language, on the most part ....fucking awful"

"Well, I don't dislike this one..." I confess, looking at the two older sisters and considering how beautiful they were.

"How can you" Mary begins "both Kate Winslet and Emma Thompson are top shelf... and let's be honest, I watch the hetero movies for the women" she adds with a naughty little laugh.

"Uh oh" Erica says coming into the room behind us in her pyjamas after a warm bath. She places her hands on my shoulders over the back of the couch and leans into the back of it as she observes what we are watching "Willoughby just saved Marianne did he" she asks. We both nod, but we don't remove our eyes from the screen "Well it would be Elinor Dashwood for me" she remarks.

Mary looks at her accusingly "I see" she muses.

Erica laughs "Mary we all know you are thinking it too"

Mary smiles "I do think she plays this role rather beautifully, our Emma"

I roll my eyes "you guys" I tease, standing and stretching my arms out "I'm going to retire now to my bed quarters, if you don't mind" I say in a posh English accent.

"See you in the morning" Erica says as she holds open her arms. I walk into them for a quick squeeze. She kisses my forehead "sweet dreams kiddo" she calls.

"Night Willa" Mary calls "we love you" she adds.

"Love you too" I call back, as I walk down the hallway.

I enter my room and turn on the light. I sigh at the box of photos on my bed from home. Allie and the family looking back at me. I sift through them with my fingers gently, pulling out all the ones of Allie, and slowly looking at each one, rolling onto my stomach and intently taking in every detail of her... "I miss you" I whisper.

It had been almost five months now, and although I had found my feet in Oregon and made some good friends, I still yearned for Allie. I desperately wanted to pick up a phone just to hear her voice, and everyday I would fight that urge to call her, but I knew that no good would come from that right now. I was still too fragile to be confronted by Allies life in Utah again, her life with Ben. I didn't think I could cope with that yet, as selfish as it was of me to leave her with no word... it was all I could offer right now. One day though, I would return, when I felt I was able to live without her, and not just to live, but to be happy too, so that when I returned to her I could be her friend with no feelings to ruin it. I wanted to be happy for all that Allie had in her life, and right now I couldn't offer anything but jealousy and heartbreak. She didn't need a friend like that.