poignance
/ˈpɔɪnjəns/
a state of deeply felt distress or sorrow.
The door opened causing Aurora to look up from the book she was reading. She was surprised to see not only Draco standing there but also Pansy. Aurora missed Pansy but she just wanted to be alone with Draco right now.
"Aurora, I'm sorry," Pansy says. They both felt a kind of tension and Aurora couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable. "It's okay, it wasn't your fault," she says, accepting Pansy's apology.
Pansy walked towards Aurora as she stood up. They hugged each other and they both muttered another apology. Aurora wasn't mad anymore but she still wished that Pansy would've done something to stop Daphne and Theodore from burning the letter.
They laid down for a moment while Draco went to go for a shower. When Draco walked out of the bathroom Pansy decided that this was the right time to go to her own dorm. "Bye, love you," She says to both Aurora and Draco and they say their 'goodbyes' to her.
Draco walks to his side of the bed and lies down. He needs to get enough sleep because he did have to go to school in the morning.
"Sorry for bringing her here without telling you," Draco says. Aurora moves her eyes from the ceiling towards Draco. She looks confused because he didn't do anything wrong. "No, don't say sorry, I'm really thankful Draco,"
Draco grabs the book Aurora was reading before he came back. He reads to her, hoping Aurora would fall asleep soon so he knew she wasn't staying awake the whole night. "Goodnight love," Draco says, looking at her with admiration.
"Goodnight Dray," Aurora mumbles with her face hidden in Draco's neck. He reads to her for a little bit longer until her eyes close and the only thing heard in the room is her soft breathing. Draco closes the book and lays it next to him on his nightstand. He wraps his arms around Aurora and soon falls asleep.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Aurora woke up, Draco was already gone. He had classes to attend. She looked at the time on the clock and saw that it was already 10 am. That meant she had missed breakfast.
Aurora knew that it would take hours for Draco to come back. And he would probably spend the lunch break with his friends or in the library. So Aurora was alone until about 3 o'clock. It was only five hours, but with the voices in her head, it would feel like 5 weeks.
Aurora didn't have the energy to change her clothes so she just laid back on the bed. The only thing she wanted to do was to sleep. She was scared of nightmares but the nightmares would be less scary than the voices she was hearing. So she decided that it would be the best option to try to sleep.
She woke up 3 hours after, she changed her clothes to a big oversized shirt and sweatpants but she still didn't have the energy to do something else. Aurora tried to fall back asleep but after turning around for what felt like the thousandth time she knew that it wasn't going to work.
She slowly moved to the nightstand and grabbed the book from it. She started to read but after 5 minutes she lost her ability to concentrate. She wanted to be able to just read the book without hearing the voices but her brain was just telling her no.
Aurora could only hear the voices, they were getting so loud. It felt like they were screaming. She couldn't shut them out. The only thing she thought that would help was to cut. She didn't want to but she could no longer bear to hear the voices.
Aurora walked to the bathroom and closed the door. She opened the small cabinet above the sink and got the razor blades out. She sits on the ground and pushes up her sleeve. The blade hits her skin and she watches the blood flow out of it.
She had thought that yesterday was only a relapse, just one little mistake. But it wasn't, once you relapse you need to begin all over again. It wasn't just one little mistake, it was a very big mistake that is going to take a hell of a lot of time to get over it. She liked the feeling of pain. The adrenaline makes the urge grow and grow.
Aurora looks at her arm. The skin around the cuts puffs and the blood looks like a perfect dotted line. The cuts give her tingles and burns at first but then it starts to feel good, only that's the worst thing. Aurora's body is in pain while her soul is at ease.
She grabs a washcloth and washes the blood off so she could pull her sleeve down. Aurora was wearing a black shirt so there wouldn't be a visible stain.
She sees now how everyone is so addicted because, with only one slide of the razor blade into her skin, the voices were gone. For once the weight on her chest disappeared.
It's hard to find the right way to cope, without anyone knowing and without any hope.
Aurora wants to die but she can't bring herself to do the actions that would end it all because that scares her even more than living. So she just sits quietly on the ground and lets the tears escape her eyes.
