[Old] Never let go, Never Runaway (Oumasai)

Molly

TW: brief mentioning of suicide, panic attacks

It was now lunch. I didn't want to bother Shuichi anymore since my little temper tantrum this morning. And honestly, it felt like I was taking him away from his friends so I'll just let him be.

Since it was nice out today, I can eat in the courtyard.

I packed a small lunch this morning so I wouldn't have to go to the lunchroom.

I went to my locker thankfully Miu wasn't at school today.

I opened my locker and grabbed the small package.

I ran out to the courtyard. I didn't feel like interacting with anyone. Well besides Shuichi. I wanted to hang out with him but I can't just take him away from his friends.

I sat down under a tree. This is where I usually sit every lunch.

I didn't bring my sketchbook because I just wanted to relax. I wanted to sorta think my life over.

I started scrolling through TikTok. There are a lot of cosplayers on my for you page. I've always wanted to cosplay but my parents didn't support me. Plus we were broke.

I wonder if my uncle would let me buy some cosplays? Eh, I don't know. I might ask later.

I started to stare off into space. I let whatever video was playing just play.

"Oooouma.." A catty voice said.

"Huh?" I said to myself. Oh. It was Enoshima. What did she want?"

"What are you watching??" She asked stupidly. I didn't even reply she just took my phone out of my hands.

"Oh, so your one of those cosplay nerds? Ew." She threw the phone back at me. 

She sat down next to me. "So What do you do here?" She asked.

I cracked my knuckles. "I dunno." I didn't want Enoshima in my personal business especially since she's the biggest gossiper in the school. One time she outed someone for being gay and that student committed suicide.

She looked at me with a smirk. "So I've noticed that you and that Saihara guy have been getting along."

Oh, so this was what this was about. She was gonna try to get me to confess my love for Saihara so she could out me as gay. "Yeah, what's it to you?" I asked.

She gave me that stupid look again. "Oh, I don't know. But let's be real. Do you have a crush on him?" She asked.

Yup. I knew this was what it was about. "No Enoshima. That's gay." I lied. Hell, no was I gonna confess my love to Saihara to anyone- let alone her.

"You sure?" She asked. "Honestly I thought you were gay. I mean at the least bisexual but whatever." 

She put an arm around my neck. "So who do you like?" She asked.

Oh no.  I hate physical touch. The only reason I let Shuichi hug me is that I like him and well I was the one to ask to be hugged. But Enoshima makes me uncomfortable. 

"Please stop touching me," I asked shakingly.

She laughed. "Aw, is baby boy gonna cry?" She made her grip on me tighter.

"Please." I started. Get off of me.." I could feel the tightening of my throat. To answer your question, yes. Yes, Enoshima baby boy is gonna cry.

Tears started pilling up in my eyes. I wasn't gonna release them.

She started playing with my hair. "Aw, Kokichi, your hair is so soft." She gently rubbed her free hand down my scalp and my neck.

I began shaking. Oh shit. This was happening again. I used to get panic attacks a lot when I lived with mom and dad. They scared me.

She leaned against me. "You're so small. Your build is almost like a girl." She said teasing me.

"Please." I cried. I looked down to the ground. "Get of-off."

"Uh... Nope!" She said.

I could hear her laughing.

"Enoshima." Another voice said. "Get off of him."

I looked up to see Makoto and Byuakyua.

"Huh? Oh, buzz kill. She said walking away. She almost seemed to always listen to Naegi.

I looked down again. "Thanks," I said weakly.

"No problem!" Makoto said. "Hey, how 'bout you hang out with us and our friends till lunch is over?" Makoto asked.

I sniffed. "Yeah. That sounds nice."

**

A/N: Hey Uh sorry this chapter took longer than usual. I had trouble writing the first half of this chapter but here you go <33

Song recommendation: Molly by Mindless Self Indulgness