Tommyinnit Angst/Fluff one shots

90. Fudge nuts

Instead of bleeping himself by using 'Fudge' so he doesn't get yelled at, Tommy says 'Fudge nuts'. He doesn't know how it came up or why it won't go but it's there. It's not inaproppriate but dirted minded people (*Cough* Me and my extremely dirty minded girlfriend*Cough*) would think differently. This definitely isn't what I accidentally said to censor 'fuck' for a long while and couldn't stop and still say under my breath

I could never

Also I would never make these two platonic husbands (No ships cause Tommy is still just a pure 16 year old to me just like other millions of people) but I really had no idea what to pick so I picked names of people I semi watched and Bilzo ended up being picked. If either of them are uncomfortable with this or just don't want it then please tell me because I'm not really updated on these things

By the way I'm going to try the past, present, future, first person, third person, second person, third person omniscient, and third person limited so if you like or hate it then please tell me

I'm doing it so thst it can be easier for you guys to tell if it's someone telling the story from the future, while it's happening, or it being predicted (Yes it will be like that in some stores) by the way it also helps me keep the tenses in one category.

If you don't know what they are (Or have forgotten) feel free to ask me!

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Tommy's point of view*

(First person - Past tense)

It had been a wonderful and life filled day. That is until my mouth just had to be unfaithful and say something I didn't want to say infront of the most dirty minded people I know. My platonic husband; Bilzo The Bitch. Well, he is never a bitch but it's alliteration. You get the word you get and you don't bitch about it

Well back to what I was saying.

Bilzo was being silly like he usually is with Ranboo and Tubbo there. We were having a double date. And like I said before, something happened

The fifth wheeler purpled, he was only there because his brother was gone for the day, said

"Hey, guys, I was on YouTube and it one of the shorts there was a Tim and Moby....thing.  I searched it up and it said that Tim is Moby's boyfriend and he's pregnant. Weird, right? Because how would Moby pump his stuff in T-" "PURPLE! SHUT THE FUCK UP"

Tubbo was sooooo mad whereas Bilzo was just ecstatic "I'm going to search that ship on wattpad right fucking now."

(First person - present tense)

My eyes widened in horror and I snatched Billy's phone out of his hands "HEY! WHAT THE HELL!?" This little shit

"Bill, if you so much as look at a page of Tim and Moby smut then I'll stop supplying you with alcohol. You know that I'm the only one capable of making you a perfect fake ID for getting you into bars. Let's see if you care about reading smut more than getting alcohol and getting into bars. I'll give you five seconds"

The table was silent until I started counting "One" more silence "Two" He started glaring at me "Three" His eyes widened "Four" Bilzo started looking around the restaurant while turning red "Fi-" "Fine! I won't read it. Just...just please don't take away my shit milk and ice cream"

I smirked because he is always so easy to threaten. And of course I wouldn't do any illegal shit. Alcohol is our way of saying chocolate milk and the bars are ice cream shops.

"Good" I say as I give him back his phone "Purpled. Don't you ever talk about thst ag-" "I think Moby injected sperm that he got from the sperm bank into Tim"

"PURPLED!" Tubbo yelled while throwing stuff at him

It got to the point where he threw the entire fuckinf chair at him

Except it missed

And hit me

"AW FUDGE NUTS THAT HURT" It went silent until Bill broke it by laughing "PFFFFT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID FUDGE NUTS! WHAT, DID YOU FUCK SOMEONE IN THE ARSE AND THEY DIDN'T CLEA-"

I took a deep breath and smacked him on the head as hard as I could while dragging him by his hair

"Sorry boys, I need to go delete this fucker's Ao3 account as well as his wattpad account" "NO! TOMS, PLEASE!" I glared at him "Do you want me to fucking throw inside Techno's house and tell him that you cheated on me"

Why is there so much silence?

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It's been a long time since I've posted and I'm so sorry

In my defense I'm trying to get all A honorall and multimillionaire reader to make my parents proud since my little brother already has all A's and million reader. I've got high nineties in everything except for math and science which are 87 and 88. They saw them and said they were disappointed

Like damn. I know I used to get all A's but that was elementary me who wasn't changed into a dirty minded, swearing middle schooler who had a shitty science teacher at the beginning of the year because the teacher made the students turn in their homework to her, online, and then again to her and not she was gone for a total of three weeks with last quarter and this quarter

But it's fiiiiine

Number of words: 926