I am Different...and that is okay.

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

To my darling once again,

Things were kind of rough between us, mainly because my best friend made me realize what was REALLY going on between us. You didn't want me around as much as I wanted you around, and I totally get that. I made the mistake of being too overbearing, and I'm sorry.

But the way you treated me was unacceptable. I know you were trying to spare my emotions but you incidentally hurt me even more than you planned to. The fact that you lied to me so often and so plainly...it repulsed me.

So I've decided to let you be. We both need to figure ourselves out individually anyway. You're going off to college and I'm taking on more academic responsibilities. My dreams come first, and before you, when it comes to me. If you want me away, then that's what you'll get.

But trust me, you're going to miss me when I'm gone.

There will be no more "I love you, big bro." texts. There won't be anymore of those at all, with the amount of sincerity and meaning I put in them. Soon you're going to realize that despite all the fakers out there, there was ONE person (in high school) who really loved you to bits, but you pushed her away. She loved you with all her heart, and would drop EVERYTHING and possibly die for you. She would do anything to please you. You just thought that was an annoying incentive of our friendship. I'm sure you won't realize it until it's too late to do anything-but there was someone out there who simply adored you for who you really were. You're going to miss that. You're going to regret that you didn't do anything back for her, and that you didn't cherish her pure genuine heart enough as she did.

You're also going to miss the benefits of her company. Her advice, her wit, her wisdom, her care. You might not realize it now, but later you'll realize that she was a very special person, and that having her heart was a very special deed. You're going to miss the non-judgement she gave you, her infinite amount of forgiveness and understanding.

You're going to regret not acknowledging her generous amounts of love and care she gave you, and only you. When you do it's going to be too late.

She's going to have grown up, moved on, and focused on her own aspirations, and not let anyone in the way of her dreams.

You're going to miss her, mark my words. There will never be another person in your life as beautiful, genuine, and whole hearted to you as she was.

But if you ever needed it, she would always come back for you if you needed her back in your life, however, she just might not be as accessible. Once you realize that your friends are fake (she realized that a while ago) she'll definitely be there for you, but just not as whole as she used to be, because you injured her heart so terribly.

Don't ever forget her.