Where Will You Be Waking Up Tomorrow Morning

Chapter 6

MENTIONS OF SUICIDE (VAGUE):

I sat up at the mention of the word love. No one would I even consider hearing that from would be her. "What, I may feel that way too but let me get up. I need coffee." 

I got up confused and in a daze and slightly hung over from me pre-show whisky shots. I wasn't drunk, just a little tipsy. Secretly I have stage fright, but that is another story. Suddenly I realized how fast everything had gone, how it had been like a week, and I just don't know. At first I thought she was just a rebound from Sarah. I just wasn't sure how to feel, she was so fragile. She was almost frail. All of the sudden I wanted to sing Northern Downpour, something I had not done in a very long time. I got the coffee from the keurig, but what I really wanted was starbucks. 

I had asked the Driver to stop at Starbucks, and he said there was one right down the road. I told Alexa to put something over her bandaged, frail arms.

"Where are we going? I don't know what to put on. And they hurt, they really hurt. Brendon, I'm sorry I can't do the tour. I just can't. You don't want me, no one wants me.  I'd be better off dead. I'm serious. It doesn't get better like I said. You don't want me, not a single person would care if I killed myself today."She started to cry as she put on a plain sea foam green hoodie. 

"Alexa, do you know how many people would care? Your bandmates, your family, your friends, your fans, the people who felt in their hearts your it gets better speech, and do you know how much I would care, how much I would miss you, I do love you, I don't care how long I've known you, I love you and I can't bear to see you like this. I need you, and if this continues promise me you'll get help. I want you to be around for me. Even with everything, I still want you." I grabbed her, careful not to touch her cuts, and kissed her. With everything that I had, I kissed her. I loved her, and in that moment I knew it. I knew not to lose her and I knew not to lose it. 

"Brendon, you do care. I never thought, I honestly never thought. I need you to care. I want you to keep caring, I need someone to live for, something besides the band. The members don't even like me. They just care about sleeping with random chicks. My parents don't care, I don't have any friends. You are the only one who even remotely cares about me." Her eyes were wet, and and I grabbed her hand to walk into the Starbucks. 

"You really do care, like honestly?" She asked, and she leaned into my chest, her hair brushing against my thin t-shirt. The blonde waves looked beautiful, blowing in the wind. "You are so beautiful, and I want you to see that." I kissed her on the cheek.