Where Will You Be Waking Up Tomorrow Morning

25 or something

Chapter 25: (the song in here is my own original song btw.) 

She sat with a diet Mtn. Dew in her hand, she hadn't been eating again. In fact we'd barely spoken in the last two days. She would lay on the couch and write, what I am assuming are depressing songs, and I would sit ad drink. Neither of us were ok. Because at the end of the last two days we both woke up somewhere on the floor or outside, hungover and miserable. Where were the people we used to be? Where were the people we were on that tour bus? 

"Alexa, I want to sing. Your song, you said you wrote more. I want us to sing it. Please, we can't live like this. It is terrible but I want you to know that I am here for you. I want us to be ok. I mean we are married for fuck's sake. Somewhere we managed to forget that part. I just want to sing with you." I lifted my head up from the bar counter and picked up the paper she had tear stains and ink running off the page into puddles at the bottom. "Just sing."

She said nothing, but started to sing. 

"Sometimes... In this life we choose

we choose to live, we choose to die, we choose to try...

to try to do both at the same time

But at the end of the day we are everything we are afraid of

We are the masters in our head

singing their own swan songs

afraid, afraid, afraid

let the swan sing

let it sing

let my ears ring

So listen here, this is not a time to cheer. This is a time to realize what—

and where we've been. This is a time to be full of life, to have someone on your side.

To have somebody by your side when the explosions ring out 

and your played out 

So hand it over to me, hand me the chance. To do more than dance, to do more than be a figurehead, to figure out how to get ahead. I don't want to be chained to the mistakes of the past, because that past is dead, and I've got to get ahead. 

In that hospital bed, laying there alone. I knew what I must do.. I knew I had to figure it out,

I had get out of the submarine that was swimming in my head.  The  ocean of thought that the swan is trapped in, singing its song.

swan or no swan, one day we will all sing that song

So hand it over to me, hand me the chance. To do more than dance, to do more than be a figurehead, to figure out how to get ahead. I don't want to be chained to the mistakes of the past, because that past is dead, and I've got to get ahead.

I don't want that swan to sing its song. I want that swan to dance, to swim on the calm seas my mind has become. I'm setting the swan free, for me. 

Now swim, fly or float away, you are not welcome right now. "

"That was beautiful. Utterly beautiful. You will never fathom how much I love you." I sat down next to her and watched as leaned into my shoulder. 

"You are the most wonderful human being ever. I want to tour. I want to live. Because these moments are precious. I want to open for you guys, I've secretly been recording some of my own songs." She seemed alert, and happy. But what I was going to say would, hopefully, make her even happier.

"Dallon and I want you to join Panic!. I'm serious, we want you to be the permanent guitar player  and the permanent back up vocalist, lead on some songs. Please, we need you. All the fans love you."  I finished asking her. 

"Really, cause I would fucking love that. I mean I know most of the songs. And to think I thought Dallon hated me. Huh, who knew?" She seemed happy for the first time in the last two-ish days. 

"I think we should listen to what I've been recording. Dallon and I have been working on a new album. I have tracks for you to record. I want your song on it." I led her into the music room, aka the second bedroom. 

I watched her as I played the tracks from the album. They were all finished, except the 5 that she needed to sing on. "I need you to sing. The album drops next week. I kinda was waiting to surprise you." 

"Oh my god. Are we touring? How did I not know?" She was freaking out, but in a good way. We recorded the tracks. She sounded and played amazingly. At the end of it, I wanted to lay on the small room's floor, the carpet itching my back. 

"Yeah we will tour, but right now I just want to listen to the album and lay on this itchy carpet floor with you."  i started to lay down and she soon followed me in suit. We laid there and listened to the album.

"I love being Mrs. Urie." She said to me, before closing her eyes, as we listenined to the album.