Where Will You Be Waking Up Tomorrow Morning

Chapter 20 (did i get the number?)

triggerwarning: eating disorder

I sat there several minutes in silence before pulling down my sleeve. She was staring at me. The facts of the situation were pretty bad. And I had a show tomorrow, of course I didn't tell her this. Her mother just went home, no one said a word to each other. As I walked out of her bed room, I choked back a sob. 

"Alexa, I'll bring your stuff tomorrow morning. I love you. I'll visit from 10-12." My voice was quaking. 

"I love you Brendon." Her voice was hoarse from crying and the tube. 

In the morning I brought her clothes, blankets, pillows, and photos of us for her wall, and a love note. I was hungover as I was I drunk to oblivion last night. The visit was sad and It was killing me to see her like this, but I am about to go on stage now. And I am fucking drunk. I'm not gonna lie. 

"Hey guys, it's Brendon Urie." I started my usual energetic set, and talked about Alexa. Then I lost it. I started sobbing, just sobbing in the middle of Always. I just couldn't. I grabbed the mic.

"As most of you know, my beloved girlfriend is in the hospital. I just can't do this, I'm so sorry. But it's killing me inside to see her like this. I just I can't...can.." And then I puked on my feet. I just projectile vomited all over my self. This had to be the worst moment of my life. But I picked the mic back up. Fuck it. "I am sorry. Ok. I am sorry for everything. You can film this if you want. I just can't do it. I just fucking can't do it." I collapsed on stage. Drunk and out cold.

The next thing I knew I was sitting in my house with an ace bandage around my ankle. Dallon was sitting on the chair next to the couch. "You know you passed out on stage right? And puked? And Cried?" Dallon wasn't being mocking, he just was making sure I knew.

"Yeah Dallon, I know. Why is my ankle wrapped?" My head was pounding and everything was waving in my vision. I felt like an ass.

"I'm sorry. I am an idiot. I'm just was so stressed about Alexa. Ill tweet out an apology later. I have to call her." I was still swimming inside my own mind. I picked up my phone.

"Alexa, how are you?" I asked my voice sleepy and slurry.

"I heard about last night, why did you do that. You could of cancelled the show, I know about it because Dallon called me." She sounded annoyed.

"I just love you so much I can't handle my self. I'm sorry. I'll be there to visit this afternoon." My voice was desperate, I couldn't handle her being mad. 

"I love you too, Bren. I'll see you this afternoon." Her voice was cold.