They Don't Know About Us [L.P]

Chapter 11

(Kayla's POV)

     I shared my song with Zayn and he enjoyed it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. He was impressed by it. Not sure how a depressing story turned to a song is impressive, but we'll never know. 

     I haven't talked to Jesse since the boys got here. What they said, really has slapped me in the face. I'm kinda taking it out all on him when I'm not primarily meaning to. 

     The boys had left a little while ago and the boys were forcing me to talk to Jess before they left. I wanted to at that so this was for them. 

     I walk to Jesse's room, his door wide open. I lay my head on the door frame. "Hey," I said lightly. Jesse turned to me after putting a stack of clothes in his suitcase. 

     "Now you wanna speak to me?" He asked, smartly, poking at my patience. 

     "Jess, don't start," I said. He grabbed another stack of pants and put it in his case. "Are you still mad at me?" I ask him, arms crossed. 

     "Mad?" He asked, not making eye contact with me. He fits another stack of shirts in then finally turns to me. "Why would I be mad?" 

     "Oh come on, Jesse. Everything that's happened for the last 12 hours for us has been the worst." I told him. I walk in and sit on his bed. He walks out of his bathroom with something in his hands, putting it in his duffel bag that was on the chair next to his suitcase. "I just didn't expect our last day to go down like this." Jesse still says nothing. 

     "You know it's funny cause I was thinking the exact same thing, Kay." He said, walking back to his closet. 

     "Look, I'm sorry, Jess. For everything." Jesse finally turned and looked at me.  "I messed up our friendship, our relationship, our last day with each other...I messed up everything and I can't find my way to ever forgive myself." I admit to him. Jesse walks to the edge of the bed and sits on hit, looking at me. 

     "You messed up nothing, Kayla. None of what happened is your fault. You didn't ruin our relationship. Because no matter what we go through, or friendship is strong enough to defeat it every time. Nothing can bring us apart...not even this year distance from Cali to here." Jesse told me. I stand up from the bed and begin to pace the room. "You know that. We've been through hell and back, Kayla. Major hell! The day I thought DTC would have taken our relationship from the dirt, it didn't, because who fought it off? You!" He reminds me. "You're strong! We're strong!" 

     I let my hands fall to my side. "I don't feel strong," I mumble. Jesse sighs and stands up. "Jess, what I told you this morning was just my truth. It hurt me more than it hurt you because I didn't want to put you through the heartache of how I feel. But I did!" I said. "I'm sorry for what I said. Yes, it's the truth and I hope that you can see past it because-" Jesse cuts me off. 

     "I've already looked past it. Yes, what you said hurt me, a lot, I'll admit that. But you know what, I'd rather you tell me that than still have me here with the same level of safety. It's been expanding since then. I felt as if I wasn't good enough anymore." 

     "You always were Jess. That's what I'm trying to get you to look past is that." I said. 

     "All I care about is to keep you safe. And if you feel safe with Liam in the boys, I am so glad. Because trying to get you to bond with others was hard as hell!" I chuckle at that comment. I am so stubborn when it comes to trusting. Seems like I barely went through my phase when the boys came in my life. "I'm glad you feel secure with them because even though I promised I was never leaving, you're gonna need something to hold on to. And those boys are it." He said.

"Kayla, my point is, go feel safe with Liam. As long as you feel safe, I don't have to worry. And as long as I know you are, I won't have to worry. Me leaving isn't my reflection on how I see my safety for you. Believe that." He said. I just stand there. I bit my nail as I was beginning to feel awkward and nervous. "I love you Kayla, and I always will. I may be leaving, but never, will I ever leave your life because if I do, there's no point in living. Because you are my life." 

     My eyes begin to get watery. I walk to him and he opens his arms as I get closer. I tighten a grip around, not wanting to let him go. This is so much harder than I expected. This could be our last embrace for a while. "I love you, Jesse!" I say into his shoulder. He tightens the grip around me. 

*****

     Jesse had finished packing and we were in the living room, watching television and I had fallen asleep on the couch. Jesse tapped me. "Hey, you wanna go to bed?" I groan a yes and he picks me up, placing me in my bed. 

     "Jesse," I mumble before he leaves. He turns around. "Can you not leave before I wake up?" I ask him. He walks back to the bed. 

     "I wouldn't even think about it." He bent down and kissed my forehead before walking out of the room. And all I heard in my head was, "Can't believe you're packing your bags. Trying so hard not to cry." But that just made me want to cry even more.