Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
tw : mentions of death and suicide ?
your pov
3am
you laid on your side, scrolling through your phone. the events that took place some hours ago, replayed in your head over and over. there was a huge pain in your chest, making you unable to breathe properly.
you turned your head to look at eren's sleeping figure. his lips slightly parted and his face calm and peaceful. you got up and walked next to his bed. you didn't want to wake him up and bother him, so you walked out the room and closed the door behind you. you headed to the exit door, twisting the doorknob and met the chilly summer night.
the air hit your face as you breathed in, trying to calm yourself down. you stood in front of the lake, staring at it, in an attempt to focus on it and not in the thoughts in your head.
the moon shined above the lake, reflecting itself on the water. the water was crystal clear and the small stones surrounding the place, were shining from the moonlight.
you buried your feet in the water as you stared far across the distance. your hair was getting slightly blew by the chilly breeze- goosebumps appeared on your skin, but you had nothing to cover yourself with.
'it was a bad idea to come out here with just this nightgown'
you heard footsteps coming towards you and soon after, a jacket falling on your shoulders.
"you'll catch a cold" you heard eren's voice behind you.
"what are you doing here? did i wake you up?"
"i couldn't sleep! when i woke up, i didn't see you on your bed and got worried since you were nowhere in the house. but, i thought you'd be here!"
"y/n... what's bothering you?" he asked, turning you around to look at your face.
"i was gonna ask the same about you" you said.
he held your hand as you walked out of the water and sat down on the stones, facing the lake.
"you know... i was just thinking about all that happened... it's nothing much really, i only just felt unable to breathe! like someone was choking me!" you said, hugging your knees.
"i get it! you should've woke me up!to try and calm you down, or just stay by your side"
"i'm fine now, so no need to worry! but what about you?"
he sighed before he laid his body on the stones, behind him.
"the thought of me ruining you mentally, is always there! and i... i know i'm doing it and probably will keep doing it. i never meant to make you start smoking or make you lie to your parents, coming to them losing their trust in you... all i wanted to do with this run away was help you realize that life can still be good even after shit happens!" he said, shielding his eyes with his arms.
"...i never wanted you to grab a knife and end the life i'm trying so hard to save! do i make it better though? no! am i making it worse? yes!"
"it's not true, 'ren..."
he looked at you, as he used his elbows to lift himself off the ground.
"what it's not true?"
"you're not ruining me... in fact, i'm ruining myself! if i didn't want to be like this, i wouldn't have started smoking, drinking, lying... i did everything to myself! but you stayed by my side, no matter what, and you never judged or tried to change me back to 'normal'! thank you for that!" you said, a small smile on your face.
"the others stayed by your side, too!"
"they judged and tried to change me, though! but it's fine! i forgave them cause they're sexy!" you said, as you both laughed.
"so... you're not mad at me?"
"why would i even be mad at you? it's not like you did something to me! i told you, it's all my doing!" you said, laying on the ground.
"don't tell me that this came from what my ex said?" you asked as you looked at him, an eyebrow raised.
"no! i told you it's been in my mind for a while!" he said, his cheeks and ears turning slightly pink.
"i know you're lying! your ears are turning pink!" you said, your arms behind your head.
you stared at his face, watching his cheeks as they turned a deep shade or red, matching his ears. you started laughing, your hands flying to your stomach, holding it.
"s-shut up!"
you couldn't control your laughter, no matter how much you tried.
"i'll always thank your mom for telling me that! you're such a mama's boy!" you said, tears escaping your eyes.
he pinned your wrists down with his hands, as he was now on top of you.
"you're so fucking annoying!" he said from above you.
"i just love~ teasing you!" you said, finally calming down.
he stared down at you, those piercing jade eyes looking into yours. he leaned closer to your face, making your cheeks turn slightly pink. he took his thumb and dragged it along your bottom lip, watching it bounce back into its place. you were both breathing slow and hard; the tension dancing between you. he stared down at your lips and licked his own.
"are you gonna kiss me, eren?"
"what if i answer yes?" he asked, looking back at your eyes.
"answer no,then" you whispered.
"why?" he whispered back.
"we both know why"
he sighed and rested his forehead on yours, closing his eyes.
"i'm sorry" he whispered, his breath fanning your face.
you closed your eyes, a single tear falling down the side of your face.
