did i imagine it?

chapter six / rest in peace

Asahi

Times like these im hoping for something to happen. Something big so that the current problem would be forgotten.
Example: My Parents
Whenever I did something  I would hope my parents would fight
And that's what happened every time. Pretty evil from me right?

I know.

Anyways nothing can make this problem forgotten.

The reason?

This problem is between me and my brain.

No matter what i try, they always seem to come back to life.

The voices, the shadows. 

I feel that all these must me any kind of karma from my past life or something like that-

It makes no sense, i know. But what the doctors said makes even more no sense. At this point nothing makes sense and we should all just die right?

There is still hope, for those who search for it

But i dont really want something to keep me alive. I dont want to have a reason not to end everything. Sometimes is better to leave and to be forgotten, than to leave and also leave people an empty hole. Thats at least my mindset. But i dont even tho if i am at a place to even talk about stuff like that. I know how i felt after my brother killed himself. So why would i give this pain to other people too? Because i want peace. I want to be finally free from all these shadows and people that are following me. I want to be finally in peace. To rest in peace.

well

i cant do that now

i have to live

for Kento

i lay down

i love the view from my old window

i always felt like i could see everything

but now i realised i havent seen anything yet.

nothing at all

definitely more than my brother

but he is gone now

I gave up finding why he did it

it was only making things worse

i also gave up on loving Izuku

i wasnt at the point to love anyone

but it doesnt matter now

he hates me

and i am glad

i cant afford loving someone

i just wish he would have understood me instead of hating me

no.

as i said im glad he hates me

i just wish we had more time.

im getting out

its time to fill my stomach with food

i havent ate since two days

lets just  say i forgot

anyways

im not that hungry to be honest but wouldnt mind some noodles. 

im taking money out of my backpack and my headphones too

some music would be good

but not sad one

something between happy and sad

im taking my old bike

i missed this town

a lot

im going to the nearest supermarket i always used to go

im trying to put my bike somewhere , where nobody is going to see it or try to steal it

when i was younger i had a special place for it

nobody knew about it

ah yeah

Izuku knew