silence
It is nice to talk about the nice old times
I love silence
maybe we could work this out
maybe I can apologise and then everything will be alright
maybe life isnt that bad at all
I have plenty of time
I have hopes
"the night we met was an epic night" , he laughs
"I will never forget that night" , I admit
I will never forget that night
I repeat to myself
i really dont want to forget
its easy for me to forget , because I cant tell what is real and what is fake
I tend to forget my schizophrenia-episodes
when I see shadows or when I hear the voices
"stop overthinking" , he says
"I am trying"
I am actually telling the truth
i really am trying
"Izuku?" , i want to apologise, for everything
I have to
I have been feeling guilty for over two years
"yes?" , he turns around to face me
our eyes met
whenever i look at him its like earth has stopped spinning
I just cant explain it
I take a deep breath
"I am sorry" , i say and im trying not to cry
his smile fades
"what" , he says
"I am so sorry Izuku" , i say and tears are coming out of my eyes
i cant control them
"stop" , he says and stands up
"no, i have to, I ve been feeling guilty" , i admit
"Yes. Because you should feel guilty" , he says
everything freezes for a minute
what?
i feel my heart soaking
"I know, please listen to me" , i say
"Asahi, im being serious. Dont even try it"
"No. You listen to me. I am really sorry i didnt know what to do. I was afraid" , i cry out loud
I dont care
I need to free myself from this
"Do you really think that apologising will fix anything? You are really fucked up."
"Are you stupid? Listen to what? You left me Asahi. You left me , when i needed you." , he says loudly
"Since when are you so egoistic? I know for sure that the Izuku that i knew would never say something like that."
how could he do this to me right now?
I know i did something wrong
"Believe me i know it was fucked up. But i couldnt think straight."
"That day I died Asahi"
I freeze
Izuku died?
"what?"
"you need to let go Asahi" , he says quietly
"you need to finally let go" , he repeats
"i dont understand" , i really dont
"Asahi, i am dead"
YOU ARE READING
did i imagine it?
Fiksi Remajahe looks at me, and his terrifying smile appeared. "Asahi?" he is only looking at me. Nobody seems to realise it. They all seem unbothered. Im starting to tear up. Im so afraid. "Asahi?" "Please tell me you can also see him" , i now say hoping so...
