I know i did something wrong
"Believe me i know it was fucked up. But i couldnt think straight."
"That day I died Asahi"
I freeze
Izuku died?
"what?"
"you need to let go Asahi" , he says quietly
"you need to finally let go" , he repeats
"i dont understand" , i really dont
"Asahi, i am dead"
School Shooting
The worst thing on earth
The fact that people what to hurt other people seems to me so sad
Our school shooting wasnt just a normal one
Over 100 students lost their life that day.
To that big number was Izuku, Keiko and Haru too.
Half of me died with them that day.
I cant really explain how it is possible for me to talk with Izuku.
It all feels way too real.
My therapist keeps saying that it is all hallucinations
But they seem so real to me
That hug earlier with Izuku.
And now I am here laying at a bed in the hospital our neighbourhood has.
Maybe I should have never come here, In USA I wasnt having any hallucinations since a long time.
And it hit me again.
Izuku is dead.
Izuku sacrificed himself for me.
For me and Kento.
Because he saw how hopeless and scared I was.
He took that bullet for me.
He died for me.
Maybe hallucinations arent that bad.
I can feel him, see him and even talk to him.
It doesnt scare me anymore.
But the fact that I will never be able to live without feeling guilty is the thing that scares me the most.
That one feeling, that kills me everyday.
That makes me feel sick to my stomach.
That feeling of not being able to let go.
I will never be able to let go.
Maybe I should go back to the States.
Maybe I should try to let go.
Thats what Izuku wants me to do.
But I dont want to move on.
All I want is my first love to come back.
Alive.
And be there for me.
Or at least say some last things with him.
I didnt break up with Izuku.
The universe made us break up.
Because if Izuku was still alive.
I would want to keep living too.
If Izuku was never that selfless everything would be much better.
If and if.
YOU ARE READING
did i imagine it?
Ficção Adolescentehe looks at me, and his terrifying smile appeared. "Asahi?" he is only looking at me. Nobody seems to realise it. They all seem unbothered. Im starting to tear up. Im so afraid. "Asahi?" "Please tell me you can also see him" , i now say hoping so...
