did i imagine it?

chapter three / the beach

Izuku 

Its been three days since i saw Asahi on that bus. She didnt seem okay. For a moment i  thought of going to see her. But something hold me back. That feeling of our past. Those 2 years away from her were hard but i got used to it. And meeting her wouldnt be the best idea. So i decided not to do anything that soon or later i would regret. I stayed away from her. Today i am going to the beach. The beach we always used to rest. 

im getting my keys for my car. I know she will be there. Thats what she always did. We used to call it three days rest. She called it that. I hated it. I wanted to help her, to be there with her. But she never let me help her. She kept pushing me away. My worries meant nothing to her. And after three days of ghosting me and acting like i was dead, she would come back and act like nothing happend. I hated it. 

(Writers note: listen to the  song now)

The beach,

such a peacefull beach. The sand had a golden colour. The water was blue, light blue. But at night it seemed so dark. 

i was right, she is there, sitting with her shoes off. she is just looking at the water. Im walking near to her. Is that actually her?  I wish not. 

Without turning her back she says

"I knew you would come." , she now turns around and looks at me. our eyes met. 

i missed her eyes, her glowly big eyes. Everytime she smiled, her eyes would dissapear. She was pretty. She still is pretty. I feel my heart soaking. She seems tired. She is trying to smile. 

"I knew you would be here.", i finally answer.  

Her face made a confused look after hearing what i said.

"how?"

"i saw you at the bus three days ago", im being honest, 

i know she wont be happy hearing that but i dont really mind. I ve always been honest.

"oh."

silence

silence, because nobody from us wants to admit that we missed eachother.

silence, because nobody wants to ask those dumb questions like, "how have you been"

silence, because we both know its been a hard time

silence, because there is nothing to be said.

I am sitting next to her and taking my shoes off. I want to lay down and watch the clear sky. No stars today. Just dark. 

"Kento killed himself." , she says.

I know. But i dont know what to say to her. What am i supposed to say? Her brother died and my words cant change that.

"I know. I am sorry" i sound dumb. 

"Its okay"

maybe i should say something

"today its his birthday" , she says

he would have been 20. He had a whole life to live.

"and his death day." , she continues

i didnt know that.

"you know what? , i think he took his life on his birthday, so that we wouldnt have to be sad two different days" , she admits

Kento was always like that, he thought he didnt matter. Even after dying , he didnt want to bring people pain. 

i am not talking, i want her to talk to me. She never did that, when we were dating. But now i want to know. I want to know what she is thinking.

"how could i not know. How could i left him thinking he didnt matter" , i can feel the pain in her voice.

"I am sorry" , she says

"Why didnt you do that when we were together" , i want to know

"do what?" , she asks

"Open up to me, tell me whats wrong, explain your feeling to me."

"You wouldnt have been able to help me. Nobody was." 

" That is probably what Kento thought." , i am answering

she stays silent

she knows i am on the right. 

"I am sorry"

"It doesnt matter now." i answer fast

i dont want her to think that anything is going to happen between us.

she looks at the sand

"the sky is beautiful" , she says and she lays next to me

"so are you."