"what would you do if you had all the money in the world" , i ask
it is so boring I could die
"I dont know, I just want to live a peacefull life. I dont care about the money" , he says and looks up in the sky
"blue sky, no clouds.......thats boring" , he adds
I stand up
"thats bullshit. Ask me what I would do?" , I say
"What would you do?" , he asks with no interest
"i would buy a house. A small one and travel the world"
"you can do that without having all the money in the world" , he says
"true" , i say and lay back down
"its nice here"
"it really is"
"what is your reason to still be alive?" , he says out of nowhere
"my motivation?" , i ask
"yeah something like that"
I stop and think
what is my motivation to keep going
"probably my brother"
thats the first thing that came up in my mind
he stays quiet
"and you? let me guess your dad?"
Izukus parents are divorced and he lives with his father ever since then
so i guess it must be his dad
"no"
what?
"then what?"
"the idea of leaving everything behind"
leaving everything behind must be really amazing
"not having to worry about anything. Just on my own. Travelling around the whole world"
that does sounds peacefull
"your brother, thats actually really cute"
"cute, i am just glad i have him"
"what would you do if you didnt tho?"
"die" , i answer fast
he nods
"what"
"you just tell me you will give up", he says
"yes...I mean I dont think I could ever make it without Kento"
"But you dying would only bring more darkness"
"to who?"
"to everybody"
"who is everybody"
"your parents"
"your friends"
"me"
"but I wouldnt be happy" , thats the truth, I wouldnt ever be happy without Kento
"Stop being egoistic" , he says with his deep voice
"what are you being then?"
"not egoistic."
"How not? Telling me I should live even tho I would feel like shit everyday just so you will be happy?"
"Sadness is temporary" , he says
"Depression not"
Depression is not temporary
Depression has no limits
no routine
it just comes
I wish people would understand how important it is to think before you say something
but maybe I am in the wrong
Maybe I am the problem
I really dont know
YOU ARE READING
did i imagine it?
Teen Fictionhe looks at me, and his terrifying smile appeared. "Asahi?" he is only looking at me. Nobody seems to realise it. They all seem unbothered. Im starting to tear up. Im so afraid. "Asahi?" "Please tell me you can also see him" , i now say hoping so...
