Techno sat on his bed feeling his dads disappointment when he spotted the box of cigarettes and the full pill bottle aswell as a half finished bottle of vodka.
"What was that about, mate?" Phil says, sitting next to his son and wrapping an arm around him while his free hand reached over to the pill bottle. Techno visibly tensed.
"I don't know, it just, they don't-" Techno furrowed his brow in concentration trying to get the words out,
"it's okay. Here, please take one." Phil begged, Techno stared at the circular pill in his hands before biting his lip. He shakily took it in his own before popping it into his mouth, breathing heavy as he rested his body against his dads warm embrace. For a second it was peaceful.
"Techno, you know I need to take.. these, away from you." Phil eventually spoke up, gesturing to the multiple bad habits openly scattered in Technos room,
"no- what?" Techno was sitting up now desperately wiping his eyes.
"Come on, I know it's hard but you've done it before."
"No- Dad- please- I need it! You can't- you can't just take it! I need it!" Techno begged, his voice full of desperation as Phil stood and begun to slowly retrieve the pack of cigarettes at the foot of Technos' bed watching as his son lunged for them a second too late,
"Techno. Please, don't make this any harder. You know I have to do this. You'll be okay, I know it's scary but you have me, Tommy, Ranboo.. even Dream & George! We're all on your side here, mate." Phil sighed, picking up another pack of the same brand,
"no! Dad- please! I need it you don't understand!"
"Techno-"
"This is what you did with Wilbur!"
"Tech-"
"You did this with Wilbur, remember? And then he started sneaking out, I bet he fucking left because of you! It didn't fucking help-"
"Technoblade Watson!" Techno stopped, the sudden realisation of what he had said hit him and it hurt Phil to hear, but something told him that it wasn't exactly Techno speaking despite taking his meds.. they usually took a half hour to work.
"I didn't mean it- I- I'm so sorry-" Techno sobbed watching Phil finish his job of taking all of the things he uses to cope away,
"I know." Was all Phil could bring himself to say before leaving the room, gently closing the door behind him. The words hung in the air like a tonne of bricks.
He poked his head in Tommys' room seeing the 3 boys talking about something evidently not hearing what had just happened, he smiled slightly at that.
***
Eret smiled weakly before speaking,
"I'm sorry Philza can't take you in. I know he wants too, they all miss you alot." Wilbur shrugs not fully believing him,
"you know he's been calling alot, asking about you. Tommy & Techno both miss you aswell." Wilburs ears perked up at their names, but other than that he just stared down at the wire hooked onto his finger.
"Okay, I'll go and call the group." Eret sighs in defeat, patting her leg before standing up and walking outside.
Wilbur made sure Eret was out of view before grabbing the 3 capsules of painkillers and read the label, his heart practically jumping when he read the words 'opioid' on the back. He pocketed them silently thanking prime that they didn't make him wear a hospital gown. He knew leaving would mean he would have to work out a whole new way of getting his hands on anything, he didn't realise how dependent he had become until the actions of actively stealing from a hospital kicked in.. but maybe it was too late for that.
Not too long after he returned with a sympathetic smile,
"you know this means you're going to be really far. Right?" Wilbur nodded, his heart sunk at the thought of never seeing Schlatt or Quackity again.. but he couldn't stomach the feeling of betrayal the Watsons must feel if they ever found out.
"I know things here haven't been easy, but do you really want to move miles away again? You've practically only just got here." Wilbur let her words hang in the air before hesitantly nodding and picking the skin around his nails, he didn't want to move miles away. He didn't want to leave. But he didn't want to stay either.
***
The music lover listened to the muffled rumbling of the car, resting his head on the window as he slowly watched the raindrops race down the sides of the window. The world passed in unfamiliar and dull colours, he sighed.
But this time Eret didn't try to spark a conversation up and all Wilbur could do was tap along to familiar beats and try to ignore the overwhelming sense of deja vu along with guilt. It was so familiar yet so different, everything in him screamed to go back - to run back. But he couldn't talk, he did.. once, but the pain wasn't worth it and he didn't even mean for it to happen.
He was back where he started, in the back of the familiar car with the heavy silence weighing on his shoulders.
"Do you want anything?" Wilbur hadn't even realised the car had stopped at a service station until she spoke up, he ripped his eyes away from the window and shook his head meeting their gaze as she sighed.
"Wilbur, I don't understand." Eret began,
"I don't understand the drugs or the alcohol, but.." she paused letting out a sigh.
"Running away from everything? We can both tell you don't really want to go through with this, Wil." Wilburs heart twisted, he hadn't heard that nickname since he was with JSchlatt. The backpack.. all the food, the forced eating.. but it was love right? Love he might never get to experience again, he frowned at that.
"Is going back to Snowchester really want you want to do? I mean, you hated it there. You practically jumped at the opportunity to be put into foster placements, but now you're just leaving it all behind? Just because you connected with a family?"
Eret let her words hang in the air as Wilbur drummed his fingers on his jeans, he hated that she was right.
"Connecting with a family isn't a bad thing, even if you made a few bad decisions the connection was still there. It isn't going to leave because you left and the Watsons are the perfect example of that. Memories have a weird way of lasting longer than people do but it doesn't have to stay that way, if you stay in this area we can get you help for the drugs & alcohol and anything else and you even won't be doing it alone! You'll still have the Watsons to stay in contact with and I'll be here in your corner like I always was."
There was something about the hope in Erets tone that made Wilbur believe them, nothing was safe from the curse of remembering and not having.
"Wilbur, the first time you ran away from them was because Phil had just called me because he had caught you drunk & high. And you ran away because you were scared of being sent away, do you remember that?" Wilbur nodded, he remembered too much from his brief time there. He remembered Phil praising him for eating 3 bites of toast, he remembered playing minecraft with Tommy, he remembered when he ran away and Tubbo showed up and then Phil caught JSchlatt & Wilbur kissing... a part of him wondered if Phil had ever noticed Tubbo was there, or if he had told Techno. He remembered how Techno smoked outside the shopping centre on his first day with them, he remembered feeling something close to free when he hung out with JSchlatt and Quackity and he remembered how he often craved Phils fatherly hugs.
But more importantly, he remembered the way his body felt like it had been ripped to sheds that one night on JSchlatts sofa.. the same way his throat felt after he had spoken. He didn't want either to have happened to him.
"What do you want to do? Stay here or go back to Snowchester?" Eret questions, coming back into the car with two bottles of water passing the teenager one who took it with a thankful smile before holding one finger up..
"I knew you'd stay." Erets smile was evident in her tone as they turned their attention back to the car and started the engine up, Wilbur slowly took small gulps of the water to watching as Eret reversed back out and do a turn back the way they just came from, thankfully they didn't get too far, but Wilbur found himself watching the world pass but this time the colours weren't dull or unfamiliar and there wasn't a heavy sense of regret anymore - it was relief.
He thought back to the Watsons, he wouldn't be living with them anymore but where else was there to go except back to them one last time. Even if it's from a distance, he's sure that he would run into them one way or another.
He thought about how easy it would be to get his hands on stuff again, he mindlessly fiddled with the bottles of painkillers in his hoodie pocket as he clutched his brown satchel close.
YOU ARE READING
Silent Screams // WILBUR SOOT ANGST // SBI ADOPTION AU
Fanfiction"You never spoke much, I should've asked why." // What happens when Philza adopts a teen who doesn't speak while caring for 2 other boys - one who speaks too much and another who terrifies the new addition to the Watson family. TWS: ED // underage s...
