the ruin of my soul~ third collection of poetry

w h e n

once again im back to square one
single and solo
loving and losing.
once again im confused
in love yet not at all
for when he touches me
im speechless
but when we fight
im a ruin.
we met in grade six
and we were together for three more
we were those inseparable best friends
that couldn't be town apart.
we were always just friends
isn't that what we are now?
but part of my heart longs
to be something more.
girl after girl
lover after lover
he's crying and im trying
to stay undercover.
he was so young
so tiny
so small
but now his voice is deep
and now he's tall?
now i ask when
did you become something more
why didn't i
see this before?
when when when
did he decide to grow
why when what
changed my best friend
my best friend
makes my heart soar
but what do you do
when you don't know him
anymore?