THE TRACE OF LOVE // 양정원

제 14 과

The question gets me by a strange feeling in my stomach. But I don't turn my head to pretend like it doesn't faze me.

"I don't think I need a boyfriend yet." I answer calmly.

There's a short silence filling the atmosphere between us. After that, he leans onto the table as I do, his eyes all over the side of my face.

Now that's when I'm sure my heart is beating a bit faster than normal.

"I used to think the same." He says. "But not anymore. I don't feel like it anymore."

I look into his eyes as brown as the darkest shade of sky right before sunset.

"It's weird and fascinating how feelings change that quickly as soon as you meet someone, some you can't really see the same like others." He adds.

The small tingles stir in my stomach, and for some reasons, a faint ripple of goosebumps roll down my body—all because he is staring at me so comfortably.
Not me. I can't return the stare any longer and gaze at the sunset once more.

"I just don't think it's time for me to fall in love yet. I'm still young. I have so many things to do before that stage."
Romance and relationships are nowhere near my bucket list. For now, it's all getting good grades and insouciant fun. Then, the college and many more youth hood to enjoy.

He keeps staring at me. And I keep gazing at the sunset. Unlike ever before, I can hear the loud beating of my heartbeat because of the unusual present of my life; a guy fixing his eyes upon me as if he isn't obliged not to.
It's my mind that thinks the time is long but it's only a matter of minutes before he gets up.

"Do you want to get some dinner before you go?"

I also get up the same to his question. Us at the eye of the soothing orange hue of sunset, I think he looks different than usual. A soft breeze makes some of his fringe dance lightly.

Dreamy.
He does is good-looking.

I shake my head and smile, "my family always have dinner together. They won't like if I miss it. I should get going now."

He doesn't oppose but leads us down to where Jay and Daisy are found together playing one of those games with guns shooting and modern-advanced characters. I didn't know Daisy could play those games.

Jay seems calm and cool unlike shy Daisy, though personally unsatisfactorily, he doesn't seem to be interested in her that much—I clearly notice it when he and Jungwon walk us until the bus stop. Jungwon asks me if we want them to stay until the bus arrive but I deny. To be honest, I don't know he could be that caring and that suddenly making me feel weird. Not to mention the five minutes walk where Jungwon walks next to me, murmuring pleasantries with me often, while the other two follow behind with only Daisy keeps livening up their bare conversation.

Daisy wants to say yes but I deny ahead and make them leave us in seconds, waving them off. Soon later, Daisy and I are also seated on the bus too.

My friend looks as if she's won a lottery.
No, I don't think she would look this raptured even if she won a lottery.

"They walked us off until the bus stop like they are our boyfriends." She giggles.

But I feel cringe just by the words.

"They were just walking us off." I remind her.
"So what did you and Jay do the whole two hours?"

Beaming, she says, "he taught me how to play overwatch. We're pretty comfortable with each other. I heard he was like distant with girls but I didn't feel like he was that way with me. He kept asking me if I want to do something else if I didn't find the game fun."

"That's good to hear." I smile.

"I think he likes me too." She concludes.

Suddenly, I don't feel right about her words.
But I don't oppose her. Nor I agree.

I just look outside with window to let her ruminate her moments with Jay.
While I also think about about the most delicate hold a stranger has ever offered to my hand.