THE TRACE OF LOVE // 양정원

제 21 과

"What kind of girls does Jay like?"

Jungwon snaps his eyes toward me, his expression a bit tense.

"Why do you want to know that?" He asks in return.

My frustration vanishes at his calm but sharp voice, and a giggle escapes through my throat.

We aren't even dating but he's already showing his tendency to be uncomfortable with me mentioning other guys.

"Why are you tense?" I poke his arm.

But Jungwon intently stares at me still, waiting for me to answer.

"I'm just asking if he's into girls like Daisy." I say, amusingly witnessing the way his face relaxes into a small sigh.

Gulping the water bottle, he first lets me watch his Adam Apple moving up and down.
"I'm not sure what kind of girl he likes but I'm sure he doesn't like girls who just throws herself at him."

I feel tensed this time.
Daisy isn't throwing herself at Jay, is she?
At least to me, she looks nothing more than someone who wants to be friends with him.

But can guys' opinion be different from girls?

I tried to shake off a vision of Daisy shyly trying to engage a conversation with Jay at the lunch table and he using half the effort for it. But it's getting stronger. He was somewhat nice for not making her feel left out between us. Except it didn't occur as something special. But mundane.

Daisy must have perceived the same too. If so, it's easy for me to understand that she got vexed by the fact.

But why has she been ignoring me ever since we parted our ways after the lunchtime?
What did I do wrong?

Looking at Jungwon, something interrupts my mind.

"Jungwon, did you tell Jay why I'm tutoring you? About Daisy?" I ask.

I'm stupid.
Why didn't I think of the fact that Jungwon might have told Jay about Daisy being head over heels for him?

Guys tend to ignore girls whom known to be interested in them when they don't feel the same.
Maybe Jay's doing the same on Daisy.

"No." Jungwon replies nonchalantly.

He didn't. Would there be any reason for Jay to ignore Daisy if he didn't know her feelings for him?

"But he knows."

My lips part wide when Jungwon says as if as a second thought.

"Know what?"

"He knows Daisy is into him. He told me she's kinda obvious. But he doesn't know why you're tutoring me."

"Did he say what he feels about her too?" I finally ask what's important.

Jay already knows. He's not making a move.
There could be only one answer for it.
But for my best friend's sake, I wish I were wrong.

Jungwon tilts his head to front and stares at the heavy sunset as if contemplating to answer or not. His eyes then befall on me, his tongue biting one of his inner cheek.

"You're sure you won't stop tutoring me no matter what happens between your friend and Jay? At least until this semester exam?"

I nod. Something begins to weigh in my heart.

"Jay's someone who likes a girl at first sight. And Daisy. I don't think he's into her."

I feel bad for Daisy.
Knowing my best friend is falling for someone who doesn't feel the same thing for her and not being able to tell; it makes my heart ache.

"I'm not really sure though. Jay sometimes keeps things to himself. His feelings are one of 'em so."
"You gonna tell her you don't think he's into her?" Jungwon wonders.

"I don't dare."
I can't.
"It would be best for her if she knows it so that she can move on for someone new who would feel the same. She's pretty and funny and kind. But the thing is, if Jay really doesn't like her, maybe it should be him who tells her directly or makes something obvious in a way she would know that he isn't into her. Because Daisy wouldn't probably tell him first—that she likes him."

"Do you want me to ask Jay about it?"

I look up to Jungwon and find him genuinely interested in the matter. Suddenly, I wonder if I'm being annoying by telling him things he'd find useless.
But he doesn't look anywhere bored but willing to help out.

I guess things I like about him just keep adding up to the list.

I wearily smile, feeling a bit tired after a school day.

"Maybe not."
I should tell her right away to save her from possible heartbreak. But I don't want to bother Jay either.

Part of my mind wants to let the two sort it out. Or let the time solves it out.

"Alright. What are you doing tomorrow?"

A small smile spreads across my face as Jungwon's tentative question.

"Tutoring my nieces. My aunty gives me 20 bucks a day for it."

He nods in somewhat defeat. I giggle in mind knowing he was trying to ask me out on a date.

"Your aunt lives in Forest Hillside too?" He asks, gathering his stationary as our study session has come to end.

"No—but their place is actually near from here. It's only two-or-three bus stops away."

"Really?" A wave of sparkle spreads across his eyes.

I nod. Smiling at the way the evening breeze is brushing his hair, the soft dark-brown curls tenderly drifting back.