THE TRACE OF LOVE // 양정원

제 32 과

Jungwon is right. Within a few mere minutes that I was gone, the former sedate lemon lights inside Jay's living room have been changed into multiparous shades of a glittering rainbow. The wide space is now a cramming of dancing youth, exhilarating music and chatter. I wonder if most of the people came from another party since I already spot drunks lingering around. Worse, it's impossible for such a huge crowd to get here in a short time.

But all those questions fade when I finally see Daisy going upstairs with a handful of girls behind her, her eyes curious around the grand interior. I rush to their direction, fast enough to grab Daisy by her arm to tear her away from her 'group' and take us to the door at the end of the hall we meet at the top the flight of stairs.

"Daffodil—what are you doing!"

The door leads to an empty balcony that is facing a spacious backyard surrounding a sparkling pool. Swinging the door close and locking it afterwards, I finally meet Daisy's eyes seeming with annoyance.

"Why didn't you tell me you got turned down by Jay?" I begin with the same amount of exasperation.

The question strikes her cold, the annoyance shifting into an embarrassment. But Daisy conceals it right away, "I'm not stupid enough to tell you and get pitied by someone like you."

"Someone like me?"

"I didn't invite them here, Dan. Your selfishness did."

"Daisy, what the hell are you talking about!" I spit.

"Did you think I don't know about your little intention to be Jungwon's little girlfriend? You took advantage of my situation and used it for your own good! And I know you probably told them about me as a desperate girl having a crush on Jay because at the same time, you wanted to make yourself look like the good best fried ever who's just trying to help out her pathetic friend."

I stand there, surprised and pondering. I never knew this side of Daisy.

"Is this all because Jay rejected you? Because it was me who got closer to them instead of you?" I think but mutter it out loud to her.

She scoffs, "if it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have known them. I thought you are just a naive introverted girl, Dan. But you are actually very smart. Using opportunities well. You are one of those girls who act like they are so prim and quiet in public but actually all desperate inside. No one wouldn't go to a guy's house three days a week if she knew they would be alone-"

"Okay, shut up!" I harshly interrupt, "If it weren't for you, I would've never known them, it's true but I didn't tell anyone about your stupid crush on Jay. And I'm sorry that I can't do anything to the fact that those guys you've always fancied didn't want to be your friends but mine. And you know what, if you weren't so jealous of me being friends with them and just hanged along with me, maybe you'd be their friend now. It's your jealousy and nothing, Daisy."

Staring into each other's eyes with strong disgust, Daisy and I find ourselves speechless for a moment.

Daisy intended to destroy Heeseung's birthday by inviting the whole school to the party. But she intended to do it by putting all blame on me. So that the gang will no longer want to be friends with me.

All along, she has been a good friend. But now, I wonder if all of that were just a facade. Listening to her tonight, she sounds and looks no different to those girls she always calls the W name because they are popular among guys. No. In fact, she is even worse, for she is now acting like someone who despises them not because they get everyone they want but because she didn't. She was jealous of them.

How come I've never got a hint of this from her?

"Do you know why I saved you from those bullies, Daffodil?" Daisy says with a smile but it altogether makes me feel eerie inside.

"Because you were so pathetic. And to be honest, I saved you so that I can make you do whatever I want because you used to be that stupid and boring, Dan. I thought you as my side chick, as someone who won't be nothing in life and always be someone's puppy. But I'm impressed. Because you proved differently...that you are no better than those ambitious sluts who only aims for the big guys. Oh—maybe that's why no one wanted to be your friend but me."

"Just an advice, Dan. Keep backstabbing people like that and it's only you who'd have to cry at last."

The past rewinds itself at her confession. My blood boils with betrayal and deceit bitterly brewed by someone I thought to be a good person all along. It turns out that it wasn't with good intention she saved me from the bullies that day.

All fog in my vision is clear and I realize Jungwon's words. And after everything is unveiled, there is only one simple thing for me to do.

"Daisy," I sigh, "you are such a disgusting person. I didn't see it then but I do now. Maybe that's why Jay never even tried to be interested in you. Not even a little. Maybe that's why the gang didn't want to be your friends too."

My words silence her, a tinge of trepidation overwhelming her expression.

"Maybe you are the pathetic one between us. And I don't need a friend like you."

I breathe in the sudden notion afterwards, "I still have six. And a hot boyfriend who's heads over heels for me."

I leave the spot right after, knowing I need nothing more to say.