THE TRACE OF LOVE // 양정원

제 23 과

Confusion attached, I walk up to him with a face glowing with a smile. I find Jungwon briefly scrutinizing my figure from afar as I get closer and he smiles ever so lightly, the dimples blooming at both sides of his cheeks.

I think all gloomy mood around just glint up as I take in his smile too pure and charming just to put it aside.

"What are you doing here?" I begin as soon as we are inches apart.

"I'm waiting for you. Jackson 4th street is only three bus stops away from my place." He answers with a shrug.

My smile grows more confused in return.
"No—I mean why-why are you waiting for me?"

I can hear a whirlwind brewing in my chest and my heartbeat speeding up as I wait for his answer that I think I know but don't know at the same unsettling time.

"I have nothing to do at home. I thought I could accompany you on your way home."

"But it's a long way." I hint to protest.

"Then we can be together longer."

Jungwon stares into my eyes as one profound wave of wind sweeps through us, cooling my cheeks burned with blush by his words. The present may be chilly autumn but his presence feels like a summery day, his eyes a lake of glistening water and his smile a dreamy flora. He bubbles up my heart and all of myself feels lighter when at his side—I slowly conjecture. He excites me, flusters my thoughts and makes me feel all foreign feelings I've never felt for someone.

At a swift second, I feel I could imagine anything with him in it.

Oh God.
Is this the feeling of falling for someone?

But would it be possible for someone as young as us?

I'd laugh off the words as cliche wheedling if they were told by someone else. But with him, instead I want to incline. I do incline in a form of smiling into his eyes with a soft shake of head.

The new sensations keep crawling onto me, undulating my conscience one way of another as we sit next to each other at the back of the bus. The bus is cold and empty but I'm hot in the inside, upon my skin and my head. His side is touching mine, brushing my arm in the movements of bus and I find myself imperceptibly being fond of it; the closer his body to mine, the more I feel good. I direct my knees toward his so that when the bus takes turns, our knees might softly hit. Beads of rain sparsely rest upon his white jeans, spreading as tiny droplets on his shirt' arms, his hands are wet holding up our umbrellas between his legs.

As the ride strands longer, I'm all tempting to put my hand on his arm and hook around his on spree without thinking anything else. But the sharp judgement within my thoughts is the only thing holding me back. Weird enough, he rarely starts a conversation during the first minutes of the ride but peers into the rain beyond the wide windows all along. His breathing is calm, as soothing as the sound of rain pounding upon the glass and somehow even though we don't say anything, the silence is contended, our hearts congenial in quietness.

. . . . .

Despite telling him to part our ways at the bus stop as my house is in a backstreet a bit far from the road, Jungwon doesn't budge and walks us down the street.

I suggest that we walk separately with our own umbrellas since the walk will take us several minutes but he denies, sheltering me from the rain by his umbrella he holds as he gives himself a little space under it too.

I guess that's what most guys do; doing everything for their girlfriends.

But we aren't even a couple.
But I don't mind. At least, I'm not the one whose one shoulder is almost out in the pouring. If he wants it that way, what can I do?

"I like walking in the rain." I begin softly through the rain at the half of our quiet walk.

Jungwon whips his head at me but I peer into the rain at front and sighs pleasantly.
"The weather is cold right now because it's fall but in summer, walks in the rain feel so soothing."

"I like rain too. But I hate getting wet." He chuckles to himself.

I swiftly snap my eyes at his dimples and unconsciously seeps a heartfelt beam.
"You are like me hating chocolate but liking chocolate cake."

A laughter escapes his small thin lips and I giggle along.
"Well, there's more—sort of as—I don't like cold weather but I love laying down on the snow."

"Or something like—love to have a long hair but hate to wash it." I mirthfully add.

"Don't you wash your hair?" He pretends to be greatly taken aback, unable to hide his grin at the same time.

"Well what do you think, Yang Jungwon? It might be that you're probably walking next to a girl who hasn't washed her hair in months." I lift one of my eyebrows challenging him but Jungwon watches me in laughter.

Giggling at my own jest, I almost forget to tell him we are only two houses away from my house, a stocky two-storey building, the walls red-bricked and the window panes white as snow due to my mom a cleanness aficionado.

Little did I know Jungwon has been staring at me as his laughter slowly comes to a contented end, his eyes found concentrated and soft when I turn at him to spill about my house instantly slow me down in my movements. My purpose is forgotten and I sink into his stare full of admiration—for me.

I somehow stop my steps near the postbox of my house and feel my heart thumping as loud as the pouring droplets above our umbrella.

"I don't think it matters anyways. Because like any other things above, I'm not into romantic shit and stuffs but" he wets his lips in the small pause,

" I find myself desperately wanting to be someone's boyfriend and kiss her every time I drop her home."

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