THE TRACE OF LOVE // 양정원

제 31 과

The scent of alcohol sweeps the place off from its peace when a group of guys carried three kegs of beer into the house. The original people at Heeseung's birthday dinner look each other in puzzled expressions as they stand inside the living room in a daze. Following Daisy's steps toward Jay who stood among the crowd with a growing anger on his face, I find Jay saying something to her. Daisy has got the gang's eyes on her when she replies to his words but those eyes are snapped at me very afterwards. My heart drops at Jay's infuriated eyes at me, Sunoo and Sunghoon's surprised ones, Jake and Niki murmuring each other but lastly, Jungwon's unpredictable eyes thrown at me as Heeseung says something close to his ears.

Perhaps, they think I invited all these people?

A qualm striking with such speed when I prepare myself to stride for them but before I can do it, Heeseung leaves the place followed by Jay and Niki. After staring at me briefly, Sunoo appears to follow Jay to talk to him. Jungwon walks through the crowd toward me. Grabbing my hand briskly, he leads me out of the house and into the garage. Placing my back on the familiar white jeep among three other expensive-looking black cars, Jungwon starts his words with a sigh.

"Dan, did you tell anyone about the party?—no, did you invite anyone to the party other than Daisy?"

Though his voice is calm and patient, I can feel a sore weight behind it.

"Neither." I anxiously say.

He thinks to himself for a mere seconds then says, "did you tell Daisy to invite anybody else?"

"No. I told her not to tell anybody, I swear, Jungwon. I don't know why she brought all of these people-"

"hey, relax."

Jungwon solicitously warns, holding my sides. Staring into his eyes, my heart knows something big has happened. Because of me.

"What did Daisy say to Jay?"

Jungwon looks reluctant at my question but he simply answers, "She said you were the one who told Daisy to invite the whole school for Heeseung's birthday to surprise him."

The dreadness swallows me whole and my fingers run cold. I never told her to do that. Why did she lie?

Not being able to digest Daisy's unexpected action, Jay, Heeseung and everyone's possible despise for me for not keeping a mere secret for a night and Jungwon's dubiety for me from now on, I stand there stunned and defenceless.

I don't even know what to feel. My chest carries a heavy pile of mixed emotions of anger, pain and astonishment not knowing for whom those different emotions are meant for; all of them are new to me for someone who basically shunned from big social interactions all my life—even if unintentionally.

"What did Jay say? Heeseung, too?" I strain to make out everything after a while.

"Nothing. I think they are upset. Jay hates having strangers at his house-"

Interrupting Jungwon, a sudden loud pop music coming from inside the house triggers my conscience worse.

"Oh my God, what did I do?" I mutter to myself.

A silence keeps us both pondering. My eyes at the floor in perturbation. Jungwon's quiet eyes on me.

"It's okay, Dan."

"No. I've ruined Heeseung's birthday, haven't I? And broke everyone's trust when you guys treated me so well."

"But you didn't do anything." Jungwon protests. "It's Daisy who told everyone without you knowing."

"I don't understand why she did that." A sense of betrayal brewing in me gut as I say.

"Because she's jealous." There's an obvious answer gushing inside Jungwon's eyes.

"Look, don't worry about the party. Jake and Sunghoon is probably taking over to control it."

"But they can't chase all people out right now, can they?"

Jungwon chuckles at my doe eyes. "of course, they can't. But they rather be the head of every party they are in. Whether they started it or not. This music is from Jake's party playlist and we're hearing it now means that they have taken over it successfully. There's hope that Heeseung's birthday party is yet to be ruined. And about Jay, leave it to me."

The sincere assurance spilt through Jungwon's lips somehow lessens my anxiety. But there's still a bitter feeling of knowing that no matter if Daisy told everyone or not, the gang's traditional special occasion turned into chaos only when I almost became a part of them.

At my lack of reply, Jungwon adds, "you should talk to Daisy. Maybe she'll tell you how she got turned down by Jay a week ago."

My eyes widen. "What?"

Jungwon nods. "Go. I think you should hear it from her directly."

The stupefaction automatically shifts into disbelief when I sense he is telling the truth that someone I called 'best friend' hid from me all along. Immediately leaving the spot to confront Daisy but Jungwon's hold on my wrist is yet to untie.

I look back at him.

"Dan, maybe you deserve someone who really cares about you as a best friend. And I want you to know that maybe, you already have someone like that. Maybe more than one." Jungwon hums, softly caressing my skin with his thumb.