THE TRACE OF LOVE // 양정원

제 18 과

Jungwon gets up from his seat to see what hit the tiles but not giving him a chance, I make a whiz toward the spray and grab it in a trice.

It happens in all less than a second that the spray is tucked back inside the pocket.

"Lip balm." I smile for his confused expression. He doesn't say if he saw it or not. He doesn't say anything at all.

Shrugging, he clears off the table and throws away the empty cups on my behalf. While I, can only give thanks to God under my breath.

. . . . .

The rest of the study session isn't different to the first; Jungwon actually focusing on the papers and me half-anxious about him possibly noticing the spray, half-insecure if I might wrongly explain some sums to him just because I'm half-anxious.

It doesn't help that he's gone quieter after we left the kitchen.

When the skyline is fluttered by the swallows' wings, we sum up the lessons for today. The dark waves of orange slowly soar above the sun but I don't wait until they crash the fireball down. In a few minutes, Jungwon and I are alone in the elevator speeding downward. He has taken out the end of his shirt off the hem of his pants. His neck tie is loosed to an extant.

Every detail of change I can see from his reflection at the glass walls, I don't disregard them just like that until I can conjecture he now has a look of a disobedient chic high schoolboy rather than a goody-two-shoes persona he usually seems.

Something keeps flickering inside my stomach at this aspect of him. But I only dismiss it as being hungry.

The sun is gone by the time we come onto the road, but it's still dimly bright outside. Underneath my silence, I think it's somehow sweet of him to walk me to the bus stop. Even if I hadn't asked once, he seems to tend to do it every time I leave his place.

"You know, I still think there must be something between you and your friend. I tried to believe you but I can't." Jungwon's words whip my head toward him. But he isn't looking at my way.

"What do you mean?"

"You told me you don't need reasons to help out your best friend. But I still think you're doing this much only because you owe her something." He gives me a glimpse of his attentive eyes full of deliberation.

My chest tightens. Because his curiosity seems utterly genuine and harmless and I feel like telling him what he's digging for. But I can't.

And my throat tightens. Maybe because he's right about the part where I owe Daisy something.

"Or maybe that she's your only best friend." He quickly adds as if he senses my reluctance.

A smile spreads over my face.
If I don't want to tell him exactly why I am going this far for her, I at least should admit one of his suspicion.

"It's true." I say.

He turns at me, partially confused.
"What is? That you owe her something or that she's your only best friend?"

"She's my only best friend. I do know a lot of people but she's the only one I'm close with."

He nods, forming his lips into a thin line.
"That's why you agreed to come over to my place and tutor me for free." He pauses and chuckles in between.
"Even if it caused you several bucks for a pepper spray."

My eyes widen as they jerk at his side profile. The color briskly runs up my face and I feel like dashing toward the bus stop that now we could spot at several meters away and jump onto whatever bus that's passing.

"It's—"

Jungwon beams teasingly at me, his dimples bursting out in full muse.
"I'm not offended in anyway so don't worry. It's not wrong of you to keep yourself at guard at all times."

I don't comment anything afterwards but let the embarrassment swill me quite constantly until we halt some feet away from the empty crowded bus stop. When the bus shows up in a jiffy to my relief, I say a whisper of goodbye to him and step up near the road.

"Daffodil, do you want to go out with me sometimes?" Jungwon says at my back.

The embarrassment vanishes then replaced by a sudden high-speed of heartbeat, my eyes end at his in surprise. The flicker in my stomach gets bigger when I find him standing there gazing at me with a serious face, his hands comfortably tucked into the pockets of his pants.

The atmosphere gets dimmer but his glossy dark eyes stay vivid.

It is weird.

How come he looks so handsome all of a sudden?