Frozen Heart

Chapter 26: Differences

When you arrived back at the quarters, you saw Childe sitting outside, trying to catch a break from all the nurses who were constantly after him. They were doing their job, yes, but they were very persistent and never let anyone be in peace.

"Oh, hey there comrade!" he turned his head to you, only to see your tearful face. He panicked and tried to stand up as quickly as possible,

"Woah! What happened? Are you hurt Y/N? Is it your chest? Do you need medical help?" he looked at the wound on your chest.

You have been crying so much on your way back that you couldn't even feel anything anymore. You were just devastated, numb and tired. Childe didn't take long to understand what had happened and gently pat your back,

"Don't give up so easily Y/N"

You looked at him with your eyebrow raised,

"Don't give up? After she just rejected me? That is, so motivating Childe" you shook your head and went inside with him.

"I'm being honest. You need to try harder to really get into her head." he said.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Signora is always focused on missions, right? So instead of her focusing on missions, like always, why don't you just be one. Work yourself right into her mind, conquer your place inside there!" Childe explained with a proud face, as if he had just waited to tell you this speech.

His speech just made you even more tired. It didn't make much sense to you now, making you answer with just a nod.

"Alright. I'll try that in the morning.." you answered him and walked towards your room, wiping your tears away.

"Please take my advice, I'm trying to help a good old friend here" he smiled after you.

'You sure are a very big help...' you sighed, closing the door to your room. You sat down on the floor and felt like crying again. You had a gut wrenching feeling,

"I should better head to sleep before I lose myself even more in thoughts.."

Just as you stood up to walk over to your bed, your door was knocked on. You thought it was Childe and opened the door, just to see Signora stand right in front of you.

"Y/N do you have a few.." she stopped when she saw your tear streaked face. You wiped away the rest of the tears and just let her in your room,

"Is there something you need?" you asked her, trying to sound calm.

She didn't answer and just kept staring at you, her eye had this dissapointed look on it. That dissapointment didn't go towards you, it went towards herself. She was quiet for a long while, trying to think of the things she could say.

"Y/N. What I said was very harsh, I'm..." she sighed, Signora wasn't a person who made a genuine apology, but she seemed to try it. She took your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours. You felt a warm feeling build up in your stomach, even if your heart was broken. Signora came close to your face and placed a kiss on your cheek, then she moved her free hand to your other cheek and caressed it. Your eyes were wide open and just in shock from what had just happened, it wasn't a direct kiss, but it sure was one.

"I'm just afraid." she finished and looked you back in the eyes.

"Afraid? Of what?"

Signora was also no person to ever show some sort of emotion like fear. So what was she so afraid of? Why was she afraid?

"When I lost my beloved..500 years ago, and the Tsaritsa took me in, after the Crimson Witch times. I haven't had any close contacts to a person for a long while, afraid of losing them too"

Her hand was still holding yours and you felt it tremble a little. Her eye also looked teary.

"The time I've spent with you...the nice things you had done to me..."

You just watched and felt your heart hurt, it didn't hurt from the rejection, no, it hurt because Signora was suffering for all these years. Suffering in silence, covering it with a mask and toughening herself up, so she wouldn't end like in the past.

"I thought if I rejected you, it would've been easier for the both of us. Then the pain of loosing you wouldn't have been just as hard as loosing him.." she paused for a moment and tried to calm down, her body was also starting to warm up again. You held her cheek and wiped away the tear from her face, moving it back down to hold her hand with both of yours and cool her.

"What you're saying is, you feel the same way? But you're afraid of losing‐"

"No.." she answered and looked away, "I mean-...ugh. Listen, Y/N. All of this is so sudden, I just need time. So please, in the meantime, could you try and not do what you're always doing to me?" she asked. You raised an eyebrow,

"Do what? I never did anything to you...or did I?" you thought.

"You're always leaving this weird feeling, inside of me. The last time I felt like this was with..." she didn't finish her sentence, but you understood her.

"How does that make you feel? Is it a bad feeling? If so, then I'm very so‐"

"No, no! It's not a bad feeling, it's just a revisited one...let's say it's positive. Nonetheless, just try to avoid doing that" she finished and let go of your hand, but you didn't. She looked at you and was confused,

"Signora, I'll give you as much time as you need, but I cannot promise you that I reduce the amount of love I have for you"

Her face reddened and her body heated up. She was too flustered to even say anything, her eye lost multiple tears,

"O-OH! Oh my! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-" you panicked and gently grabbed her face, caressing it to calm her down. You wiped away the tears and the ones coming right after, then you just let her in for a hug, patting her back, proceeding to calm her.

"I'm so sorry.." she apologised, tightening the grip in the hug. You didn't answer and just continued to pat her. She was never this close to you, which made it hard for you to keep your cool. After a while of her sobbing, she went silent,

'Don't tell me...'

You gently lifted her away from your shoulder and saw that she had fallen asleep. You smiled at her sleeping face, removing her funerary mask and tucking her in your bed.

'She must've been so tired...'

You walked over to the other side of the bed and laid down, curling yourself into a ball so Signora had as much space as she needed.

'I'll do what Childe said, but in a pace which you feel comfortable with..'

Determined to win her heart, you went to sleep with a smile.