virus | skz

-nine-

I stare at my reflection in the smudged bathroom mirror. I died. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be breathing. Stripping down, I take a shaky breath and mentally prepare myself for what I might see. They talked about being afraid I might turn. But they were so adamant that I hadn't been bit. Why would I turn if I wasn't bit?

Trailing my fingers along my side, I watch myself in the glass. Every inch of my body could be the home of the bite I can't seem to remember. It feels like I search my abused for a lifetime, but I can't seem to find any sign of a bite. There's nothing. I've checked every inch of my skin two maybe even three times, but nothing is there.

"You won't find anything." Chan's voice startles me and I quickly spin around to face him.

"I—I just—" I try to come up with some excuse as to why I'm still not in the shower, but I can't think of one.

"You weren't bit, Bin. I wouldn't have let them bring you home. I would've stayed with you in that house until I had no choice but to lock you up and leave." Chan grabs ahold of my arm and gently pushes me toward the nearest shower stall.

"Why were you afraid I'd turn? If I didn't get bit—why?" I look toward him in hopes of having an answer. I need one. I can't face the others with this unease eating away at me. I won't let myself be around them if there's even the slightest chance that I'm a danger to them.

"When you fell at the store, you fell in the blood, Bin. I didn't want to scare you, so I lied. I told MinHo when he came to get help us in the house. He said that he didn't know if you'd turn or not, but he refused to leave us. He wouldn't let me sit and wait with you—especially not when you could've died. If you weren't going to turn and he just left us, he would've let you die without even trying to help." Chan reaches to turn the water on for me. My eyes can't seem to leave his throat. I swallow hard and do everything I can to force myself to look away before he turns back toward me.

"Just take a nice hot shower and relax. Felix and Min set up a movie night for tonight once the little ones go to bed. We'll all just sit and watch together. Then we'll all go to bed. You shouldn't do too much still. At least not for another day or two." Chan squeezes my shoulders softly and shoves me closer to the shower. He tugs the curtain back and makes his way out of the bathroom.

Part of me wants him to come back. I don't like the idea of being alone. I don't like the idea of the virus potentially coursing through my veins as if it weren't tainting my blood. It scares me. What if it was just a bit and not enough to take full effect? What if it's currently multiplying inside of me—preparing to consume my body little by little? What if without warning, I suddenly attack one of the little ones? I could never forgive myself.

"Chan. Chan! Don't leave me alone!" I tug the curtain aside and hurry toward the door to try and catch him before he can get too far.

"Hey—calm down. What's wrong?" JeongIn slips in the other door and moves toward me concerned.

"I need Chan. Please get me Chan." I turn toward him pleading.

"Why? What do you need him for?" JeongIn watches me, baffled as to why I suddenly need Chan so badly.

"Please, Innie. I just—I need Chan." It takes every ounce of strength I have left to not fall completely apart.

"Okay, relax. I'll go get him. Go get in the shower. You need one. It's been over a week." JeongIn gently shoves me back in the direction of the running shower before slipping out of the bathroom in search of Chan.

My chest tightens and my head begins to spin as I clutch the edge of the shower stall, so tightly that my knuckles go white. I swallow hard and lower my head, fighting the urge to reach up and touch the still sensitive cut.