Red in my Ledger

Chapter Twenty-One

The next day was the day of the party.
As you had done everyday for the past week, you headed to the kitchen first thing in the morning.
You were later than usual, so it wasn't empty.
"Hey kiddo" Tony grinned, then bit into a slice of toast.
"Hi" you waved at him and the others.
Everyone was there except Bucky and Yelena.
"Breakfast?" Natasha asked.
"No thanks."
"Sure?"
"Mhm. Not hungry."
You sat down at the table anyway, sitting on the spare chair next to Steve.
He leaned over to speak quietly to you.
"I was thinking of giving Natasha the necklace just before the party. What do you think? Do you think that's too late?"
"No I think that works just fine" you said. You didn't really care.
"Y/n" Tony called across the table. "Romanoff said you weren't sure if you were coming to the party. Is that true?"
"Um. I don't know-"
"It's completely fine if not, I'd just really love it if you came."
"I think I might go."
"That's great!"
"Do you want to get ready with Yelena and I?" Nat offered.
"Uh sure."
"Good. Did you like what we picked out for you?"
"Yeah I loved it. Thank you Natasha" you smiled.
"No problem" she smiled back.
"I haven't worn a dress in ages" you admitted. "I'm pretty sure the first and last time I wore one was 2010."
"Stark's party?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sure you'll look fine" Tony grinned.
A couple of minutes later, Bucky and Yelena walked in together, laughing about something.
They had been training together.
"What are you guys laughing about?" Clint wondered.
"Nothing" Bucky said.
"We were talking about who would beat who in a fight" Yelena explained.
"Oh really?" Tony smirked. "And what were your conclusions."
Bucky and Yelena explained their theories, which caused the avengers to argue (in a jokey way) with each other.
It ended with Bucky and Tony having an arm wrestle across the table. Bucky with his metal arm, and Tony with an Iron Man glove on.
You excused yourself without anyone realising.
After Bucky won the arm wrestle, he wanted to sit next to you to eat breakfast. That's when he noticed that you weren't there.
"Hey where's y/n?" he asked.
"I don't know. She was here just a minute ago" Steve replied.
"She probably just went back to her room" Natasha said.
Bucky frowned and started to fill his plate with food.
But he didn't sit at the table.
He went to your room and knocked on the door.
"Come in!"
Bucky pushed open the door. You were sitting with your knees brought up to your chest on your bed, watching TV. You paused it when he walked in.
"Hey Weiner. What are you doing here?"
"Well you weren't at breakfast so I thought I'd bring it to you."
"I was at breakfast. But then I left."
"Did you eat anything?"
"No, I wasn't hungry."
He didn't say anything so you rolled your eyes, expecting a lecture about eating.
It never came.
Bucky sat at the other end of your bed, lying on his stomach, and started to eat from the plate of food he had brought.
You ignored him and unpaused the TV.
His food had a really strong smell. A really nice smell.
Bucky was watching the TV but he noticed you eyeing his food.
"You want some?" he asked.
"No... you're getting crumbs everywhere."
"I'm sorry... you don't even want this hash brown?"
Yes.
"No."
"Oh. I don't want it I guess I'll just throw it in the bin."
"No that's a waste. Here, I'll just have it" you aggressively snatched it out of his hands, dropping even more crumbs across the bed. You acted annoyed, but Bucky saw you smile gratefully as you bit into it.
"Are you going to party later?" he asked when you finished.
"Probably."
"Do you want me to pick you up?"
"Pick me up? The party's downstairs."
"Yeah I know. I mean walk you there, from your room."
"Okay first of all, I'm perfectly capable of walking myself there. I think I can manage a couple flights of stairs. Secondly, I'm getting ready with Nat and Yelena so I assume I'll be going with them anyway."
Bucky seemed disappointed.
"Maybe next time."
"Mhm. I guess I'll see you at the party."
"Okay. Bye Weiner" you smiled as he got up and left the room.
When the door shut, the smile wiped off your face; you frowned in annoyance as you tried to sweep all the crumbs off your bed.
You gave up and collapsed onto it.
You were bored.
At this point, you really wished you had a phone.
Eventually you had the idea to go train, because you couldn't think of anything better to do.
You remembered the way to the training room so you got there pretty quickly and to your satisfaction, it was empty.
You could train in peace.
You did all the normal stuff you would do, then looked around. There was some other stuff you could try. You weren't sure if you were allowed, but you tried anyway.
You walked over to where there was a bow and some arrows; they were presumably Clint's.
You picked up the bow and one of the arrows, and aimed for the target. You pulled back the string, then let go. The arrowhead lodged in the yellow centre of the target, and you smirked proudly to yourself.
Suddenly you heard footsteps behind you so you spun around quickly, aiming another arrow.
It was just Clint.
Fuck, Clint, you thought. Of course he would come in now.
"Sorry" you mumbled and put his stuff back down on the table.
"That's okay. Nice shot" he pointed at the target.
"Thanks."
"Natasha was looking for you."
"Oh okay. Thanks for letting me know."
"No problem kid. See you at the party?"
"Mhm, see you then."
You hurried off, embarrassed that Clint had caught you using his bow.
You ran into Natasha leaving your room.
"Oh hey I was looking for you. We're gonna start getting ready" she smiled.
"Okay. I'll be there in a minute" you nodded.
———
You knocked on Natasha's door about ten minutes later.
It was open, so you let yourself in.
They were both sitting on Natasha's bed, and both said "hi" when they saw you.
Natasha had started on Yelena's hair.
You took a seat in a chair opposite the bed.
When her hair was done, Natasha did Yelena's makeup.
Then Natasha did her own hair.
You were still sitting patiently on the chair, not sure what you were meant to be doing. You could get ready on your own, but there was still an hour left until the party and it didn't take you that long.
You excused yourself to the bathroom.
While you were in there, Bucky and Steve came by the room.
"Come in" Natasha called when she heard the knock.
Steve pushed open the door.
"You girls look great" he grinned. "Nat, can I borrow you outside for a minute?"
"Sure" Natasha got up and left with him.
Bucky was left in the room with Yelena.
"Where's y/n? I thought she was getting ready with you?" Bucky wondered.
"Bathroom" Yelena said. She was looking at Nat's jewellery box and deciding what to wear.
"Hm. You look nice by the way" Bucky said.
"Thanks. So do you."
You opened the door of the bathroom to see Bucky was in the room; he and Yelena were smiling at each other.
"Hi" you said.
Bucky looked at you.
"Hi" he smiled.
You ignored him and grabbed your bag that had your outfit in. You put Natasha's hair brush in and some make up.
You were going to get changed on your own in the bathroom.
You paused by the door.
"See you at the party" you said to Bucky.
"Mhm. See you then."
You locked yourself in the bathroom again.
You came back out ten minutes later, completely ready.
"Oh my god y/n" Yelena remarked.
"You look amazing!" Nat cried.
"Thanks. So do you guys" you said.
They had both changed into their dresses, so the three of you were all ready.
"I like your necklace" you smiled at Nat.
"Thanks. Steve gave it to me."
"Mhm. It's nice."
"Oh that reminds me Steve said he wanted to take me to the party. And Bucky offered to take Yelena."
"Oh."
"Obviously you're coming with us though."
"No, that's fine."
"Y/n we're literally all going to the same place."
"You guys go with them... your dates. I'll just come on my own like five minutes later. No big deal."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I don't want to fifth wheel."
"Okay then" Nat shrugged. "By the way, I got us something" she grinned. She went over to her cupboard and pulled out some vodka. "Pre-party drinks?"
"Yes please" Yelena grabbed the bottle.
She took a swig, then handed it back to Natasha.
She had some too, then offered the bottle to you.
"No thanks" you declined the offer.
"So" Nat smirked. "Yelena has a date."
"It's not a date" Yelena objected. "It's just two friends going to a party together."
"Yeah you seemed pretty friendly when you walked into breakfast together."
"You're a pain in the ass Natasha."
"You definitely like Bucky."
"I do not."
"It's obvious. And he clearly likes you too, or why else would he ask?"
"You think?"
"I knew it!"
"No! I do not like him... but you and Steve. You love each other."
"No we don't."
"Mhm. Did I mention, that's a great necklace, where did you get it?"
You rolled your eyes as they continued to talk about dates.
It was ridiculous. You were all previously black widow assassins, and now they were talking about boys. Like any other woman might.
You didn't contribute to the conversation at all. You didn't tell Yelena that Bucky asked you first. Even though you had said no because you were meant to be going with them, and now they were going without you.
After a while, they got up to go and wait outside.
"Bye y/n" Natasha waved.
"We'll see you there" Yelena said.
They shut the door.
Peace and quiet.
You heard the guys find the girls outside.
You grabbed the bottle of vodka.
You started drinking, taking a small sip every minute or so.
You were thinking about bailing. Just not going to the party.
But Tony had said he wanted you there. And you said you would go.
So you got up after about ten minutes and headed downstairs.