Freak ~Juuzou x Reader AU~

Chapter 21: Fragile Hope

"I really like the name Rui. It's cute. Don't ya think?"

He looked at me, his eyes like crystals meeting mine. His lips were bowed, the dimple on his left cheek dipping, filling with shadows. A gust of wind blew, whisking his brunette locks.

I leaned back, shrugging, "It's not a horrible name, but I can't say I'm in love with it. And where did you even hear a name like that, anyway?"

He snorted, "What? Come on! It's cute. I heard it in a show I was watching a while back. There was a really cool character with it."

I arched a brow. "You want to name our daughter after a TV character?"

"It beats those overused hipster names like Penelope and Briella (random names)."

"What's wrong with names like Penelope and Briella? They're pretty."

"Pretty basic."

I rolled my eyes. I never knew it would be that difficult to come up with a name, not that I was overly invested in the whole search. In fact, the only one really spitting out suggestions was him.

"Fine, then. Are there any names you like?" he asked, looking at me, that smirk still on his lips.

I sat; arms crossed. "I don't know. I guess...I guess I kind of like...Lakelynn."

He studied me, those eyes peering at me before chuckling, "Okay. Then why not Lakelynn Rui, or Rui Lakelynn?"

"Doesn't that sound weird?"

He shrugged. "I don't think so. Either way, I think it'd be unique. Something different, ya know?"

No. I didn't. I didn't understand why he wanted her to have such a different name, or why it mattered so much. Was it such a bad thing to have a common name? I mean, they're common for a reason. People like them.

He leaned over, resting a warm palm on my round stomach, his thumb stroking it.

A small and sweet smile met his lips. "Whoever she is...whatever her name will be, I know she'll be perfect." He glanced at me, the sun dancing in his eyes. "And I know we'll be fine. You'll be fine."

You'll be fine.

You'll be fine.

You'll be fine.

My eyes open abruptly, fluttering to clear my tired vision. All around, the shadows of the night slither, moving like snakes as they blanket the room.

Confused, I crane my neck, looking at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 2:02 a.m. I frown. Of course. Of course, it's only two in the morning. Why wouldn't it be?

You'll be fine.

Inhaling, I throw back my duvet and climb to my feet, stiffness cracking away from my joints, and shuffle to the main living area. Even in the dimness of night, I can still just make out the faint outlines of the extravagant suite. The nice furniture. The nice feeling of the carpet. Even the nice freshness of the air.

But I ignore it all and instead pad my way to the balcony. The late-night air is warm and humid, each breath heavy, but that breeze...God, that breeze feels nice.

Below, H/P shimmers, twinkling with falsified life. The lights glimmer, but there is no one out. Not with this curfew still at play. Still, there is something beautifully ominous about it all. Something...raw.

Another gust of wind blows as I lean against the railing, resting my chin on my arm. My thoughts fire at a speed I can't compute. Thoughts that fringe somewhere on the border of exhaustion and regrets.

You'll be fine.

I suck my lips in. Am I? Am I fine? Do I look fine? Do I feel fine?

We're not fine, and God knows that. We haven't been fine since the day Lucas...

I bury my face into the crooks of my arms. This ache...it never really went away. Not completely. It's still here. Still lingering. Like a fist clutching my heart, squeezing, tighter and tighter, making it difficult to breathe. Almost as if I'll choke.

But over the last three years, this twinge has become bearable. The gaping hole that was left has begun to close, but a scar remains in its place.

"It's all your fault!"

I know. I've been blaming myself since the day it happened. No one believes that more than me, not even Martha. And I will live with this guilt for the rest of my life. Always. It'll never go away. It'll never disappear.

Tears begin to gloss over my eyes as my lips tremble.

It's all too much. All of it. My sense of security disrupted. Rui missing. Lucas...not here.

If he were here...I'm sure she'd still be here. I'm sure she'd be snuggled up in her bed, fast asleep. She'd be safe and secure and...

You'll be fine.

I want to believe that. With every fiber that is me, I want nothing more than to believe that. But nothing's fine. It hasn't been fine in a long, long time and I feel so...alone. Abandoned. Confused.

Broken.

After these last three years, I thought that brokenness had begun to heal, scarring over by new tissue. I thought...I thought everything would be okay. If I just kept working and just kept dancing, then I could provide for Rui, and everything would be fine. So, where did it all go wrong? Where?

We'll bring her home.

Startled, I glance up, searching the night air almost as if he would actually be here, but I see nothing. Nothing but the city below, and the starless sky above. But his voice... I heard it. I thought I did. It sounded so real, almost as if he's here, but he's not.

Those words continue to echo through me, seeping into my soul like rain in the soil.

We'll bring her home.

We'll bring her home.

We'll bring her home.

And I know they will. They will bring her home.

**Ello, ello lovelies! Just a look at Y/N's thoughts. Seems there's more to be revealed. Y'all ready for that? Hopefully! Oof. It is a cloudy, dreary April day (at the time of typing – 04/11/2022) and it is just zapping me of any energy. Like, I wanna take a nap lol. And I'm not typically a nap kinda person. But in some random news, I have purchased the available Sasaki and Miyano volumes. I'm so excited for them. That said, I still gotta finish getting Soul Eater and Fire Force. Random, I know lol. But yeah. That's all! Thank you so much for everything! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. "I Was King" by ONE OK ROCK