Freak ~Juuzou x Reader AU~

Chapter 40: Prince's Kiss

Sterling's layout is the same as Janelle's.

Well, not completely. There are differences. Different people. Different faces. Different location. Different this, different that, but it still all boils down to the same. We are all here to mourn and grieve the death of a woman far too young to die. Yet, she is dead.

But it plays out the same. People gather in clusters, quietly talking – some sniffling and crying – while others wait in line to greet Sterling's mother. Randy and I do that. We each step up to her, giving our condolences.

Honestly, Sterling's mother looks utterly devasted. Not to say Janelle's parents hadn't felt or looked distraught. They did. But Sterling's mom... God, the woman looks as if she hasn't slept for days. When I saw her, I noted how hollow her eyes looked and saw the dark circles smeared by running makeup. I barely recognized her from the picture hanging in Sterling's locker.

A shell of herself.

That's what she is. Physically here, but mentally gone, Sterling's sister standing at her side, whispering in her ear. I can tell she's trying so hard to keep her mother here – to keep her grounded, but it's in vain. The woman is...not here.

It was a difficult funeral to get through, but we did. We stood and watched as the grieving grieved, then followed the hearse to Sterling's resting place. There, we all tossed a handful of dirt into the ground, the sun beating down on us. The minister said a few words, then we left.

Randy followed behind me in his car as we drove to the cemetery where Janelle is. All the while I sat in static silence, listening to the car cut through the wind. My mind raced. Of course, it did. I just couldn't shake the image of Sterling's mother from my mind.

Even now, as Randy and I stand in front of the polished headstone with Janelle's name inscribed on it, I can't shake her face from my thoughts, but I'm trying. I'm trying because...

"It feels strange," Randy says as a warm breeze blows.

I look up at him. Randy is tall. I've known that for a while. He towers over me. Over all us girls. And he looks cold and distant and scary. There's typically a scowl on his face, but we all know better. All of us know he's a giant teddy bear, but the guests never knew that. To them, he's intimidating. I guess that's why we all feel safe with him.

Still, he is only human. And right now, I see those human emotions in his eyes. Some of them are even the same as mine.

"I know," I sigh. "I keep thinking the same. None of it feels real. If anything, it all feels like...one really fucked up dream."

"I can't argue with that."

He looks down at Janelle's grave, his eyes heavy with sorrow. He was unreadable earlier. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind at Sterling's layout, but now, I can see something. Something that weighs like lead on his chest.

I glance at Janelle's carved name, then at him again. "Did you love her?"

His lips bend slightly. "I love all you girls. You are my pride and joy. My family."

"I know that. I guess, the better question is, were you in love with her?"

Another gust. He shifts, inhaling. Then: "I...there was a time she and I shared something special...intimate, even."

"So, you two were involved?"

"Yes, but it was a long time ago."

I think about it. Janelle was working at the club before I came along. She's been there a while, and she's always worked as the costume coordinator. She never danced. That said, I never really knew there was anything going on between her and Randy. Not really.

"I didn't know," I say. Guilt clutches me. "I'm...sorry."

"It's okay," he shrugs, reaching down and dusting some dirt from the headstone. "Like I said, it was a long time ago."

I know I shouldn't press or pry. It's none of my business, but I'm painfully curious. "What happened?"

He glances at me, then back at the headstone. "We...realized we wanted different things. Different people."

I knit my brows. "Different...people?"

He nods, "Don't get me wrong. I love Janelle. She understood me. She understood me so well that... Well, I think she figured it out before I did."

I...think I already know what he's hinting at, but I dare not push or interrupt him. I let him talk. I let him say what he has to say. I let him confirm what I already believe to be the truth.

"I'm gay," he finally says, looking at me. "I'm a gay man, and Janelle picked up on that before I did. I think deep down she always suspected it, but just didn't know how to approach it. It was kind of a touchy topic in those days."

He says that as if he's so much older than me, but in a way, he's not wrong. He's ten years my senior, and even though he's only ten years my senior, he has still seen things. And a lot happens and changes over ten years.

"I...I'd be lying if I said I didn't already gather that," I confess. "I just didn't know you and Janelle were ever a thing."

He chuckles, "That obvious, eh? Well, I guess some things are easier to piece together than others."

Silence falls as he stares at her headstone. To believe, just six feet under us, Janelle's closed casket lays, forever shut, with a corpse whose eyes are forever closed. And now, Janelle shall forever lay and sleep. At least until the next life or whatever finds her wherever she goes. Should there be anything, that is.

Regardless, she is gone. There's no bringing her or Sterling or any of those other women back. They are all gone. All of them, and there's no changing that. All we can hope for is justice.

Randy presses his fingers to his lips and kisses them, then presses the kiss to Janelle's headstone. "Rest easy, Nelle." He then turns to me, smiling, "Thank you for showing me how to get here, Y/N. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Thank you for answering my nosy questions."

He laughs, "Glad I could appease your curiosity. Was it everything you hoped for and more?"

I snicker, "I'd say it was definitely something."

We walk back to our cars in silence. All the while, it's as if I can feel Janelle smiling.

**Hello, lovelies! Kinda a...lighthearted chapter before shit hits the fan lol. Figured I'd give y'all something sweet...ish. I know, I know. I'm so nice. You're welcome lol (jk, jk). Well, I finished Victoria Lee's, The Traitor's Crown, and y'all...wow. It was so interesting to see all the things that led Calix from that prequel to Calix in the other Feverwake books. Like, wow. Don't get me wrong. Later Calix is still a creep on sooo many levels, but it was still interesting to see how his mind worked and what he felt, especially since we don't see that in any of the other books. Just thought it was cool. Anyways, thank y'all oh, so freakin' much! Y'all are the bee's knees! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross