Freak ~Juuzou x Reader AU~

Chapter 36: Girl A

I didn't sleep much last night, needless to say. Partly because I'm now located in a new hotel on behalf of the TSC, so I'm surrounded by a plethora of new. A new suite. A new bed. New this, new that. All new.

Though, I know the real reason. It's not because of a new hotel or suite. It's not because of a new bed. No. The real cause is much, much more complicated than that. Because the reason is someone, I thought I could trust. Thought.

I thought I could trust him. I thought I could rely on him. I thought I could confide in him. I thought so much. But the reality is so much grimmer than that.

Clay.

This man swooned me with his charisma and charm. He showered me with money and fancy meals and sweet, sweet words, only to earn my trust. And now...now there's a possibility that...that...

Could he really be behind all this? Is he responsible for the death of seventeen women and the kidnapping of four children? Could he be the head of this monstrous organization powered by ghouls? Could he have really known where Rui has been this whole time, only offering to help as a façade?

It's only a theory. There is no solid proof. Not yet.

Sure, there's the card number that belongs to him and the video footage of him at a few of the victim's work locations, but that's it. Coincidental circumstances. But coincidences that are lining up too neatly. And with him leaving in a hurry yesterday morning...

Well, it's not looking very good.

I let out a rough sigh and rise to my feet, pacing. I can't hold still. I can't. I wish I could. I wish I could numbly sit and stare at a wall and completely disassociate, even if only for a moment. I wish I could do that, but I just can't.

There is far too much racing through my head. The murders. The kidnappings. Janelle and Sterling. Rui.

My chest tightens, almost as if a strong hand has reached into my ribs and gripped onto my heart, squeezing. Blood oozes from that wound – hot and sticky – and I almost gurgle. Almost.

It's all in my head, of course. The hand. My heart being squeezed. The blood. None of it is actually happening, but it feels as if it might as well be. It feels as if I might as well be paralyzed by such a gruesome display. And the face I can't help but imagine doing this heinous thing is none other than Clay's.

Black brows furrowed with his lips twisted in this evil smirk. The darkness in his eyes. Once so clear and warm, they are now cold and distant.

I swallow.

How did it become this? I mean, Clay? I don't want to believe it. Really, I don't. From the moment I met him, he's been nothing but kind and such a gentleman. And even when he learned about me being a mom, he...

No.

No, I don't what to imagine that. I don't even want to consider it, but...but that evidence... It was there. The card number recovered by the TSC belongs to Clay. It was never reported missing. And the video footage of Clay at a few of the victim's workplaces... It was all caught on security cameras. Then there's the matter in which he left my suite yesterday morning. So fast. So urgently. So...aware of something.

All this wreaks of guilt.

And let's say that guilt does come back to be true. Then what does that make me? A victim? Maybe. I was attacked. I was Girl A. I was supposed to end up like the fourteen other girls, but I was saved. Narrowly rescued by luck and TSC officials, but my daughter...

Rui was swept away. Taken. Kidnapped. Torn away from me and the safety I thought I had surrounded her with. And there are three other children, each snatched away and torn from the cocooned safety nets their mothers made for them. But they are also left motherless. Their mothers...both a part of the fourteen.

Then there's Janelle, Sterling, and Gabriella. This is where my status of victim wears on me because if I am a victim, what are they? The three of them were killed, their remains tossed at each potential location. But unlike the fourteen before them, they hadn't been feasted on. Not like how the fourteen before had. And unlike the fourteen, these three came from families they were close to – that they loved and saw regularly. If they went missing, people would know. People would talk.

Janelle, Sterling, and Gabriella... They weren't targeted to be meals. They were targeted to leave messages. Messages that showed the TSC that whoever was pulling the strings was aware of their movements. That they were watching, though I sense there was more. By targeting Janelle and Sterling – both coworkers of mine – and Gabriella – a dancer at another club – they were sending me a message as well.

He killed us because of you. He would have killed you.

I flinch, remembering Janelle's chilling words from my nightmare. Her cold and distant words. No. Distant isn't the word. She was there. She was very much present. If anything, her tone was angry and hurt.

Because they were killed because of me. Because if I had been the one who died... If I had been killed the night my apartment was broken into like I was supposed to be... Janelle, Sterling, and Gabriella would still be alive. They would still be able to be with their families and friends. There wouldn't be gaping holes in their mothers' hearts. Their fathers wouldn't be swallowing shattered pride. There wouldn't be three unnecessary deaths because there would be no need.

The target would be dead.

Girl A would be dead.

I would be dead.

But I'm not. I'm alive. I'm here. I'm still breathing, trying to hold myself together as I wait for the TSC to bring my daughter back. Just me swallowing my own guilt because Janelle is right.

They wanted me. They had wanted to kill me. I was supposed to die. I was their target.

I was Girl A.

**Hello, lovelies! Just another look into Y/N's head. Seems this is all really eating her up. Don't worry, Juuzou will be back. He will be making his appearances. For now, any guesses as to what will happen? Feel free to take a gander! So, my sister is in a book club, and she keeps trying to get me to join but I don't know. It sounds fun. I was sitting with her last night while she was on a call with them (it's a virtual weekly meetup) and they seemed cool. They said some funny stuff and were discussing next week's book. They didn't sound excited about it lol. But who knows? Maybe I'll join. We'll see. Well, enough of that. As always, thank y'all oh, so freakin' much for everything! Y'all are the bee's knees! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. "Save Yourself" by ONE OK ROCK