Married To My Sister's Boyfriend

MTMSB 011

       NAPAYAKAP ako sa sarili ko nang sumalubong sa'kin ang malamig na simoy ng hangin. It's now past 9pm but here I am, still thinking about what happened earlier and thinking about what my inlaws said. They want me to hide from Lincoln to teach him a lesson pero, papaanong mangyayari iyon?

How can we teach Lincoln? By hiding from him? By running away? I don't think that's a better idea, ayokong iwanan si Lincoln dahil ayokong walang mag aasikaso sa mga kakainin niya. Mahirap mang aminin pero kahit na anong sabihin at gawin ni Lincoln na ikakasakit ng puso ko ay hindi ko parin magawang iwanan at kalimutan ang pagmamahal ko para sa kaniya.......

My love for him is my weakness......

Pero ayoko namang habang buhay ay nasa ganitong yugto kami ng aming mga buhay at hindi ko rin naman kayang itanggi na patuloy parin akong nangangarap na magkaroon ng isang masayang pamilya kasama si Lincoln. Iyon ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit hindi ako sumusuko kay Lincoln.

Ayokong mawalan ng pag-asa dahil hanggat nabubuhay ang tao, naroon ang pag-asa. Isang taon palang kaming kasal ni Lincoln, Isang taon palang....Marami pang darating na taon saamin at ayokong manatili sa ganito ang trato namin sa isat isa. Ayoko na pang habang buhay nalang siyang ganito at ayoko namang habang buhay nalang din akong takot na lumapit sa kanya.

Totoong nasasaktan ako sa mga sinasabi niya nitong mga nakaraang araw, nasaktan din ako sa nangyari kanina. Masakit isipin na kahit ilang taon nang wala si Sierra ay ito parin ang mahal at patuloy na minamahal niya. Hindi ko rin naman sinisisi ang namayapa kong kambal at wala rin naman akong galit sa kahit na sino man sa kanila. Walang may kasalanan na umibig sila sa isat isa, dahil kahit kaylan ay hindi naging kasalanan ang magmahal.

“How I wish that it's you who died, Sana ikaw nalang ang nagkaroon ng sakit at ikaw nalang ang nawala!”

I feel my tears fall down little by little as that scenario replayed in my mind and his voice echoed in my ears. He doesn't know how painful his words, no ones know how painful that words was.

“Why are you so caring when it comes to me? Why are you so soft hearted? Hindi kaba naaawa sa sarili mo? Hindi moba pinapa-halagahan ang sarili mo at hinahayaan molang na tratohin kita ng mali?”

I sob as his line hits me again and replayed in my mind, yes I'm becoming more selfless when it comes on him. Dapat ay magagalit at kamumuhian ko siya dahil sa mga pinapakita at pakikisama niya saakin pero kabaliktaran ang nangyayari. Sa halip na kamuhian ay mas lalo ko siyang minanahal.......

Love is really blind....

“Sweetie?” I heard the doors knock and my mom's voice coming from outside my room, I'm here in my parents house. I quickly wipe my tears and fix my self then I took a deep breath.

“Yes mom?” Sagot ko at agad na umalis sa veranda sabay lilis ng kurtina at sara ng glass door.

“Can I come in?” I shake my head and walked towards to my bed.

“Ofcourse mom!” I said and my room's door opened and I saw my mom wearing her pajamas.

She kissed my forehead and rub my back as she sat on my bed, “How are you anak?” she sweetly asked and I suddenly hug her and close my eyes,

“Mom.......” My voice is shaking because I'm starting to cry again, “Are you mad at me because I'm the one who survived and Sierra the one who died?” Tuluyan nang bumagsak ng sunod sunod ang mga luha ko matapos bitiwan ang mga salitang iyon.

“Ofcourse not anak, saan mo naman nakuha ang mga ganiyan?” mom said between our hugs and I shake my head as an answer. “Wala kang kasalanan na nagkaroon ng sakit ang kambal mo, at kahit kaylan ay hindi ako nagalit sa'yo. At alam kong alam mo 'yon” mom paused and hug me tightly “Is this the one that bothering you?” I nodded that made mom sighed “Stop thinking that I'm mad at you and  stop thinking  that your sister's death is your fault. Remember, Sierra died because of cancer at hindi ikaw ang may kasalanan kung bakit siya nagkaroon ng ganoong sakit. Your twin sister won't like it if she saw you like this, hindi niya gugustuhing sinisisi mo ang sarili mo sa pagkawala niya anak....” she added that made me cry more, “Mahal ka ng kambal mo,” I know that Sierra loves me but I just can't help not to think those..... “Iniisip mo ba iyon dahil sinisisi ka ni Lincoln?” I shake my head “Then stop hurting yourself sweetie....Stop over thinking that can make you feel hurt,” Alam ko naman yun mom pero hindi ko lang talaga maiwasang isipin ang mga ganoong bagay. “Sienna can you do me a favor?” kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap ni mom at tumingin sa kanya ng diretso at tumango. “Can you please let yourself feel free and happy?” napatanga ako sa sinabi ni mom kasabay ng pag bagsak ng mga luha niya at pag-uga ng kanyang balikat.

“Mom.........” I muttered “Masaya ako mom, I'm happy” I smiled as I said those but my eyes traitor me.

“No anak, you're not happy. I'm your mom and I know, I can feel if you're happy or not and now I can tell that you're hurt emotionally and you have a big wound in your heart......” her tears has no stop from falling that made me bow my head. “That's why I hate my self,” nag-angat ako ng tingin ng banggitin iyon ni mom “Ako ang Nanay mo pero wala akong magawa para alisin ang sugat sa puso mo,” napahagulgol ako matapos marinig iyon sa mismong bibig ng Ina ko. “Im sorry anak.....” I hug mom tightly and cry on her shoulder.

“Don't be sorry mom.....” I sob and my voice is shaking “No one can erase the big wound in my heart, ako lang...... Ako lang ang makagagawa no'n mom.” sagot ko at sa tingin ko ay panahon na para hilumin ang sugat sa puso ko, sugat ng nakaraan. At sa tingin ko ay kailangan ko munang lumayo kahit na hindi ko kaya ay kakayanin ko, I need to heal my heart, heal the broken past. “At sa tingin ko kailangan ko munang lumayo para hilumin ang sugat sa puso ko,”

“I love you anak and we're at your back, no matter what your decision is, always remember that you have us you have a family and we won't leave you.” mom voice gives me an assurance but I guess I need to stand up on my own and build my confidence more.

“Thank you mom, I love you so much” I answered and hug her so tight.

This time I need to agree on my inlaws decisions, I need to hide and build my confidence.

Im sorry Lincoln but I need to do this and I hope you'll going to learn from your mistakes.......

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Happy Monday my coffee Babies ☕📚 how's your holy week?????

This is it pansit! Sisimulan ang pagpapahirap sa nag-iisang Lincoln Del Fuego.......

Do tell me if you guys will going to encounter some Grammatical or TYPOGRAPHICAL it'll help me alot☕📚

Hola! Exam namin ngayon!!!!!!! Gez! Wish me luck!!!!!

Bibilisan ko nang tapusin itong kwento dahil marami sa inyo ang nag-aantay matapos ito. At ayoko namang mainip kayo kakahintay, Mahal ko kayo eh! Arattttt coffee????

☕☕☕📚📚📚