Sometimes I wish I was crucified,
maybe I finally would understand why
I call out and no one responds.
Inpatient in 10th,
I thought I had depression.
Turns out it was the outcome of the implicit lessons
of being unable to see and know
how to communicate like Typical.
Sometimes I feel like an alien
washed up on the shore.
Those who found me spread
misinformation so much
that I don't know what to believe anymore.
In 8th grade,
I felt threatened
except for that
everyone had already accepted
that people talk and others listen
and that change for me,
was later and felt more significant.
I thought I was a good guy.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in third person limited,
thrown into something I don't know.
I panic and say some things I shouldn't
because I never picked up on social norms.
"No excuses."
In 6th,
I learned not everyone understands
and sometimes I had to be forced to carry out
tasks that hurt me,
even though it was more emotional
than physical.
In 3rd,
I learned they were afraid of me
and that I wasn't just like everyone else
since the room was cleared and I was told
that they might throw me out.
It wasn't just a meltdown.
And in 12th,
when the storm swept through the world
after I was just starting to make it,
I lost everything I had built up
and when I graduated,
I knew I hadn't made it.
Sometimes I feel,
although not holy,
I was crucified-
ripped apart and thrown back inside.
And now, I think I fully understand
why I call out and no one responds.
Because little moments of chaos-
overtime, leave big scars.
And that's not the entire story of it all.
YOU ARE READING
You Have Influenced Me More Than I Can Imagine.
شِعرTRAUMA. It shaped me. It's terrifying yet precious to me like ink embedded on my skin. These days I always ask myself, "How do I keep shining through the darkness of life?" You Have Influenced Me More Than I Can Imagine is a poetry book about my tim...
