Further from freedom
until I unravel the unknown,
picturesque moments of instability.
Highly emotional highway hunting,
potential car crashes, and fearing the past.
Even while I lay atop the cement,
no cars in sight,
I wallow.
I scream out for help,
a white truck with a red plus sign-
lift me off the ground,
hug me to your body and
carry me away from the nonstop traffic,
potentially crowded roads
and my tire scars.
Further from freedom
until I unravel the unknown,
picturesque moments of instability.
Darkly demented driving-
I don't know-
I'm stuck beneath the car
fearing for my future,
arms tensed from shock
of the airbag pushing against my chest.
Is that my body on the side of the road?
Are those cars me?
The drivers look so similar-
glasses, dark hair, brown eyes, white skin-
The corpses, are they me?
They are blurry mirrored images,
from my seat where I sit
gripping the steering wheel,
arms tensed from the shocking visuals
and being thrown back against the ground
splitting my head on the illusive concrete.
Vs and Ps,
Who must I be?
One or the other,
More one than the other,
More the other than one?
Ps and Vs,
Joystick or just a character?
Victim...
No, I have to be
the perpetrator.
It's my fault,
it's their fault-
It's their fault; It's my fault.
It has to be
confusion,
It has to be me
who is confused.
Maybe I hurt
myself
from the ones
who gave
me the bruise.
Maybe they
made me
hurt myself
or maybe
I think
that they made me
do the thing
that I do
when I'm crying
and confused.
It's my fault,
it's their fault-
It's their fault, It's my fault-
It has to be...
I'm further from freedom,
until I unravel the unknown
source that is haunting me.
Maybe who-did-it
doesn't do me any good
when I no longer see
where I am,
what happened,
or who I'm meant to be.
Heal pain without blame,
My thoughts are not always me.
Heal pain without shame,
does it matter who I'm supposed to be?
YOU ARE READING
You Have Influenced Me More Than I Can Imagine.
PuisiTRAUMA. It shaped me. It's terrifying yet precious to me like ink embedded on my skin. These days I always ask myself, "How do I keep shining through the darkness of life?" You Have Influenced Me More Than I Can Imagine is a poetry book about my tim...
