Pictures of my past on Facebook
portraying who I was when I wasn't me-
a facade of a person I desperately wanted to be
to appease the ones
who conditioned me to this cage.
There was once a time
when I was on the highest high
11th in education-
I built the foundations
on faulty grounds,
not knowing survival meant
living on a stage.
I needed to be good in everything I did,
a societal concept
that pulled the chains of my feet.
Though, it wasn't what good was,
it was to please the ones outside
so I could not be who I am,
the shadow of who I was.
Who am I?
The answer is me
behind the actor masks
and scripts and forced facial
expressions,
the one who still cares so deeply
but will not say sorry after every single
atypical behavior.
I am blunt,
and although that may make me come off
like a jerk,
I protect myself with barricades
like a soldier.
I am fragile and sharp like glass
but as beautiful as a vase,
holding my soul flowers with poise.
I will rush to a friend
in the middle of the rain,
but will be on my own to keep me safe.
For I know that I can't always be a sugar bowl
to everyone expecting a civil individual.
I can be that
but in my way
and if you don't like that,
I will not change.
Through the pictures of my past on Facebook
I see not just a person who people-pleased,
but one who was taught that if I didn't act
in a certain way,
people would hurt me.
That was how I learned that it was bad to live for myself,
and safer to live for others.
If I hadn't learned that,
I might have been stronger.
YOU ARE READING
You Have Influenced Me More Than I Can Imagine.
PoesíaTRAUMA. It shaped me. It's terrifying yet precious to me like ink embedded on my skin. These days I always ask myself, "How do I keep shining through the darkness of life?" You Have Influenced Me More Than I Can Imagine is a poetry book about my tim...
