𝙲𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚜 & 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜 || 𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚐𝚒

Jouska

Yet another day went by in a whim.

It was summer.

A car zoomed towards the rich district. In the car was a family of three. The Kim family. One of the elite names in business.
The father, clad in an expensive white button-up, was driving the car while the mother was talking to her sister-in-law on the phone, bragging about yet another competition her son won.

Namjoon.

He was in the backseat, hands fidgeting, glasses slowly sliding down from the bridge of his nose. His parents made sure he recited every word of the books, English and Hangul, by heart. And that's why he could beat the best students of the biggest schools from all over South Korea.

"Namjoon." He looked up at his father.

The man was a strict person in general, never really cracked a smile with his family yet laughed along with his friends when they visited. Namjoon was always scared of him.

"Yes, Appa?"

"You've hesitated during the spelling of Esquamulose. Did you not study enough?" His voice was booming by the last question. Namjoon shrunk back into the seat further.

"I-I'm sorry, Appa. I'm just... scared of the cameras and- and-"

"Don't give excuses, Namjoon. Just come in terms with the fact that you need to study more," Namjoon's mother spoke up in a stern voice.

The young boy's eyes widened. They really wouldn't make him study more... right? He possibly couldn't anymore! But neither could he speak against his parents. So, he just nodded, like always.

When they reached home, on the order of his parents, he immediately went to his room, washed up, changed into fresh clothes and, took out his Physics book. He was told he would be given dinner after he had finished preparing atleast a whole chapter.

It was 10 P.M. already. Namjoon somehow managed to keep himself going even though all he had the whole day was a sandwich with soggy lettuce and a maximum of 2 hours of sleep. Ignoring the headache, he kept studying. When the door to his parents' bedroom closed, it was 11 P.M.

Namjoon finished studying when it was almost midnight and he possibly couldn't study anymore with a splitting headache and grumbling stomach.

His eyes were red as he went out of his room to go to have dinner, the leftovers from morning.

When he reached the kitchen, he took out a small plastic box with some leftover rice, kimchi and meat. While heating it up, he somehow burnt his finger while he tried to pair it up with some burnt but poached egg. Sixteen years on earth and he still couldn't learn how to cook.

Kinda hopeless if you asked for his opinion.

Sitting alone on the kitchen counter, he literally devoured his food to silence the loud grumbling in his stomach. Finally finishing the food, he washed the box and his plate and carefully put them away. He couldn't afford breaking another plate and get a punished by his parents.

Before he was about to retreat to his room, he stopped.

The house suddenly seemed too big, silent and lonely.

The silence was too loud to his ears.

Atleast, this was a weekend night. But even in the mornings of weekdays, breakfast passed in silence. His father would read the newspaper and her mother would sit on the table with her back straight and eat her food in total silence.

Suddenly, staring at the too silent house, Namjoon teared up and his bottom lip wobbled. He didn't know why. He slowly entered his room and laid down in his bed gently.

His life was so organized. Namjoon studied in a good school, was the top of his class, teachers loved him, his parents were both successful businessperson and he was super smart. But why wasn't he happy? Why couldn't he spend a single day without thinking how ending all of this would be better than this?

He loved studying a lot but this.... he wasn't loving this at all. His life just reduced to a monotonous routine.

Woke up at 6 A.M.

Went to school at 8 A.M. (mostly without breakfast)

Finished school at 5:30 P.M.

Went to library and studied till 8 P.M.

Had a pathetic excuse of dinner.

Studied again till 10 P.M.

Went back home and studied again till 2 A.M.

Cried.

Went to sleep for 4 hours.

Curling in himself, helped by his emotional support side pillow, he started crying silently. Sometimes he wondered how it was like to not be a straight A's student.

Maybe he wouldn't have to live upto thousands of expectations. Maybe he wouldn't be burdened to become perfect so that he could work on his father's business someday.

"You have to study more."

I am. All the time. Why can't you see?

"You're taking over the family business. It'll be good for all of us."

For you. Why can't I live?

"You can't miss school, Namjoon. We're working too hard to provide for you."

I'm working harder to satisfy you. Is it really not noticeable?

"You're having a headache? Drink water and walk it off. You going to the competition, no excuses."

I hate you.

Maybe if he wasn't so good, he would actually start living.
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First chapter uwu

Give all your love to my child