𝙲𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚜 & 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜 || 𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚐𝚒

Sulit

Namjoon laughed. It was first a nervous one and then all he felt was confusion. Why was Yoongi constantly joking about things like this?

"Yah, hyung!" He almost yelled. "Stop joking about things like this. What's up with you, anyways? Why are you always saying stuff like that?"

The smile on Yoongi's face didn't change by much and Namjoon was actually scared that Yoongi could've been serious.

"Namjoon, I'm not joking. When did I ever joke to you about serious things?"

Namjoon's heart pounded loudly against his chest and he was pretty sure if someone looked closely they would be able see its imprint on his chest. What the fuck was Yoongi even talking about? Why so suddenly? It didn't seem like a real conversation and Namjoon wanted to pinch himself to check if this was some kind of dream or not.

"I-I'm not gay. Or whatever. I'm not."

"I think I am," Yoongi said. No hesitation, absolutely no fear. "I'm sure I am."

Despite the night growing colder by minutes, Namjoon felt a warmth on his face, and body take over. He couldn't believe this. Yoongi didn't... it never occurred to Namjoon that Yoongi might like guys.

"That's good, if you're sure of it."

"And I like you." The smile was no longer lighting Yoongi's face. "I've liked you for some time. Today seeing that girl ask you out, telling me how she's worth more to you than me, I realized I hated her. I realized it's because I'm jealous and not in way that friends would be."

Namjoon sucked in a sharp breath. "You might not like me like that, hyung," he said quietly. "You might've confused a friendly affection by a romantic one."

Yoongi frowned. "Are you saying I'm confused about myself?"

"No! Ju-Just, you're saying you've recently known this about yourself so there's a possibility you're confusing your friendship with me for attraction. You might not... be actually into me. But someday, I'm sure you'll find a guy you'll really be into!"

"Namjoon, I'm absolutely sure about who I like. I'm not naive! I like you and I'm not confused!" Yoongi demanded.

"Stop saying that, hyung."

"I like you."

"Hyung–

"Namjoon, I like you."

"Stop it!"

"Then I want the answer from you: do you like me?"

Namjoon felt his stomach do a swoop and his eyes flailed everywhere but at Yoongi. He felt a lump on his throat and he wasn't sure why a could feel a slight tremor within him. "I–"

"I just want the answer."

"I do! But not like the way you'd want, but I—"

"Just the answer, Namjoon. Yes or no. If it's an yes then I'll wait as long as I can, as long as it takes for you to be ready. If it's a no, I'll drop the conversation. We'll not talk about this ever again until you decide to."

This was a punishment. This had to be some kind of fucking punishment. It was a simple 'yes' or 'no' but why didn't Namjoon want to say either? He couldn't say yes because he wasn't gay! He didn't find the right girl, obviously. Yujin was just a friend to her and he just didn't like her and that was okay! That didn't mean he was necessarily into guys! He needed to find a girl who was right for him. He had time. He was still exploring, he didn't even have many girls to talk to so he just wasn't sure. Namjoon just needed to find a girl who wasn't like the girls in his school. The girls were great and all, but he grew up with them, he didn't see any of them as potential girls he'd date.