Davina's POV
I think i'm a whore.
Wait what i haven't even ugh never mind
"Miss is everything alright?" i hear the same lady asking. shit ,fuck
why don't I want to do this i'm scared what if hes like luke
He probably is that what guys want remember what dad always said "las mujeres solo se usan para una cosa ayudar a los hombres a estar satisfechos con sus necesidades"
translation: women are only good for one thing to satisfy men's needs
stop please just stop for this one night stop fucking stop for god's sake
"Hello is everything alright ?" oh right i forgot why i came to the restroom in the first place ."sí, estoy bien, sorry ill be out right now" i say. " Ok well hurry please miss." she says pleading. i get out of the restroom and open my bedroom door to see a women probably in her late 30's
" Its nice to meet you im Giselle ." she says holding out her hand. " Davina its nice to meet you as well" i smile. She is absolutely gorgeous oh my goodness "Right this way miss, they are waiting for you downstairs" she say's nicely
Ok well here goes nothing. Put on your big girl pants and remember what you've learned throughout your life. No emotion straight face and fucking keep your mouth shut. Ok i got this
As we get to the dining room i hear arguing. well we are off to an amazing start. should i play dumb and make them think i dont know Italian?
Yes i should I want to see what these man whores say about me
dumb bitch Theo knows you know Italian
well maybe he wont say anything
"Stai zitto stai zitto non voglio sposarla cazzo." i hear someone say which i'm guessing is Lorenzo. well enzo me and you both trust i don't want to marry you either."beh, cazzo devi " i hear leo say . im standing right here you know
translation:shut up just shut up i don't want to fucking marry her. well you fucking have to
"Here she is" Giselle said to the three men. My eyes met enzo's i quickly look away
"Um its nice to meet you all" i say not knowing what to say Lorenzo scoffs . I roll my eyes is he actually being a dick right now? way to treat your guest
He acts like if i want this " You don't have to be a dick you know. i don't want to fucking marry you either." I say trying to not make it sound as rude as it was in my head. " Look just stay out of my fucking way alright." he says rudely
told you
shut up
he's not him and you know that
"No" i say back to him making Theo's and Jax's eyes widen. "Excuse me?" he says " need to hear it in a different language?" I say WOW im fr asking for a death note but oh well
He chuckles "che coraggioso abbiamo qui" he says getting closer to me
translation: what a brave one we have here
OHMYGOD
we are so close to each other he has nice eyes there like blue but have a hint of gray in them. nice eyelashes i wish mine look like that, nice plump lips
wait what no we are supposed to hate him
i like to think i am brave so thank you." if you want to get yourself killed then be my guest sweetheart" he says making me get butterflys. His voice God his voice makes me UGH " its not like i have anything to live for" i say looking at him. He looks at me
"so uh davina ever been to Italy before?" jax asked breaking the silence " No i have not I always wanted to vist tho" i say taking a seat " maybe we should take you around make you used to it" Leo adds. I smile " That would be great, thanks."
---------
we ate well at least i made it seem like i was
it was pretty awkward Lorenzo didnt say anything he just looked pissed off. they had to go do some business or whatever. Theo said he has a girlfriend, and said maybe soon he will bring her over so we can meet. Which is so exciting maybe I will make a friend after all.
i decide to take a shower its been a long day and i want to get out of this dress and watch a movie
as much as i love showers i also hate them. im lying i love showers. thinking was all i could really do growing up. so every time i shower i think i think about everything the good the bad. I could live in here if i want to it's the only time i got to be at peace no yelling no hitting no dad no Luke.
However thinking can be bad
ive been standing in the water for a good 5 minutes now, trying to think
closing my eyes feeling the tears stating to swell up.
i miss him god i miss him so fucking much
im so tired i just want it to end. why me? it could have been anyone else and it just had to happen to me. its been 2 years now i should be able to let what happen go. but i cant i feel so dirty all the time no matter how hard i scrub myself no matter how hard i try and i try to forget. i cant.
My addiction is slowly becoming worse but i cant help it. It makes me forget about everything that happend that day it makes me forget about him.
i miss mom still i know i always tell myself i dont miss her and i hate her but i dont i just want her to come back and tell me why she left .
Im so so sorry Alex im so sorry i couldnt save you. Im so so sorry please please forgive me. i still hate myself you should have let him just kill me. why didnt you just let him? i sob i cry and i cry thinking about everything that has happened to me. what he took away
not just Alex he took away. the one thing, god the one thing i thought i would be able to have. got taken away
crying god way im i always fucking crying i need to stop.
after getting out of the shower and change I look at myself in the mirror lord have mercy Davina you look fucking horrible. my eyes were red and kinda puffy you can see all the scars on my legs and arms i look like one of those girls people describe in books
i hear my door knock. can i never just have peace goodnees sake i just want to watch frozen. i was debating on just not opening it but it the voice in my head won. So i opened and and oh look it's harry styles
He wishes he looked like harry styles.
"we have a mission for you tomorrow so be ready" enzo says "mission? why the fuck i just fucking got here Lorenzo" i say " loose the fucking attitude will you? look i know your good at luring people in so we need you to do something important for us and its not a fuc-"i cut him off " ok god" i say shutting my door #girlboss
hey señor soy yo otra vez por favor no me dejes despertar mañana amén. i say and with that i turn on my macbook to watch Disney movies.
yes im rich or whatever. ok but fr why the fuck are they so expensive.
YOU ARE READING
Darkest Secrets
Fantasy'how can you love me if you don't even fucking love yourself' he slurred 'Fuck you" will she still feel the same about him once she finds out all the lies and secrets? life is never easy but now life is more complicated than ever she had managed to...
