A Thousand Hills

I'm yours

"Lesedi, have you spoken to Noxolo recently" Phakamile asks

"Stop calling me by my government name, and no, not since that lunch we had"

He's watching highlights of Formula1 with some old lil Wayne song playing softly in the background and I'm just pretending to read.

I don't know if it's normal to have a crush on your own partner but I'm infatuated with Phakamile, it's ridiculous.

I get giddy now and can barely think, let alone read when he's around. He such a sure person, I move around him, putting my feet on him, my head on his shoulder, lap and chest. I don't know why I'm fidgeting so much, I wish I could be in his skin and he's just sitting here unbothered.

"Has Refiloe spoken to her?" He asks

"Refiloe? No, they've never met, Noxolo doesn't believe in therapy" I say

He gives me a weird look when I say this

"Why do you ask?"

"Nothing, Danso just bumped into her" he says

"How does that equate to seeing a therapist?" I ask

"Was just making conversation, isn't your therapist one of your best friends now" he asks sarcastic

"Haha, no she's just very good at her job, maybe you should try therapy" I say trying my luck

He gives me a side eye and doesn't say anything, okay maybe I can win this one

"You know for everything that happened in the past and stuff, may..." he puts his palm up halting me.
It's weird how that's the most effective way to stop each other from talking or moving, seems rude but it works

"We're not having this conversation, and truthfully if it were up to me, you wouldn't know that" he says matter of a fact
Geez I was playing, not really but okay

"You don't have to if you don't want, sure I'd love it if you do there's still so much I don't know about you. No pressure though"

"I know muhlez but honestly there's nothing to talk about. So when are you seeing Noxolo or Refiloe again" he asks changing the subject.

I'm stung a bit considering he wants to know everything and anything about me but he doesn't want to talk about something so life changing and scarring that happened to him.
If bab'Mzimela hadn't told me, I believe he wouldn't have told me, sure he speaks about his mother but not as much as he does his grandparents and he never speaks about the kidnapping.

"Noxolo cut ties, I'll see Refiloe in 4 weeks or so. I get dickerapy now so I don't need it as much" he chuckles when I say this

"I should charge you by the round then" he says laughing

"It's okay, I'll use your card" he's back to watching his race.

"Did something happen between Danso and Noxolo, I ask testing the waters

"Nothing I know of"

"How do they know each other Phakamile?" I ask

"Stop calling me by my government name Lesedi. Danso has business with the minister and she's always around him"

"That's all?" I ask

"All I care to know" he says bored

"Okay, I'm gonna go pack, since your company sucks today" I say after a while

I'm cradled to his side, my legs over him

"We're going for 10 days, you don't need to pack much, you'll shop when we get there". He says holding my legs so I can't move. I can't stop or hide the stupid grin on my face.