A Thousand Hills

It's not okay

"Chomie (friend) that's hectic"

I'm at lunch with Lindzy and Noxolo, it's Thursday today and Lindzy skipped work in fear of missing out on fun, crazy person.

It's the first time we're spending the whole Thursday together.
We haven't seen Noxolo for almost two months.
She had no excuse for going MIA other than

"not being in a good space" and didn't want to talk about it.

Which is ironic considering she's been acting different ever since we went to Mpumalanga.

I told them about my mother and me being too drunk to drive.
I lied about my tapped up foot and just said I twisted my ankle too drunk to walk properly so it was enough to calm Lindzy down.

I'm a little hurt that they bought that lie, they should know me better than that

"Sorry friend, when do you want us to go down?" Noxolo asks.

That's what we do, when one has a family emergency we support them. Beginning of this year we were at Butterworth, days before and days after Lindzy's brother's funeral.
From the cleaning, the cooking, running errands and making his life easier, we were just there.

"I'm not going home, Mah is like this, if I went home every time she had a crisis, I'd be living in Durban so enough about this now"

"Babes do you know Nathi Dlamini?" I asking hoping they'll drop the topic, Noxolo gives me a look before answering

"Yeah I do, why?"

"I had an encounter with him yesterday and just wanted to know a bit about him"

"Oh girl no, that's just trash walking. You can do better than him"

"He mentioned you a bit, said I must say hi" Noxolo rolls her eyes when I say this

"He's new money so he thinks he can buy women, him and his people have no manners or class.
Remember those Loubotins I got you on your birthday and that Maxhosa 2 piece?" She asks

And I nod

"One of the few things I swiped with his company private wealth cards until it declined"

"Noxolo!!!" -Lindzy and I both say

"What? He forced himself on me right after his friend was done doing as he pleases. He probably gave me the card to hush me"

"Whoa what?!!!" Lindzy and I both say. What world are we living in!

"Why didn't you say something"

"We had just met, not even on a friend level yet and he wasn't the first so, I didn't see what good talking about it would do.
He's not the right man for you trust me" she says gulping her mimosa glass empty

"Oh my god, both of you fix your faces, and no I'm not going to therapy. Lesedi personally how many women do you know that have been raped?" She asks

I remember in highschool, a friend of Khwezi's, a classmate, 2 girls at uni and 1 from work that I know of

"Exactly, It's a sad South African reality but it doesn't change the fact that life goes on while you die inside so I've leant to live with it.
I'm not about to let life pass me by. I also had the minister investigating his business so he lost a bit of money" she says waving the waiter over.

I don't know what to say.
My heart is sore, the fact that I lost my mind over being called a bitch and a hand on the thigh.
It's nothing compared to her story.
I think trauma makes me weaker, fragile and sensitive while it makes people like Noxolo stronger and harsher.
Life is hard on its own with money woes, dating being trash and the general existential doom.
Having to experience such a thing feels cruel and soulless.
To take away the pleasure of all pleasures and turn it into something dark and twisted is just evil.