The Mishaps Of Kusuo Saiki And Various Other Less Important Characters

Cyborg Cider Man No. 2 x Peach Tea Girl

"LOOK OUT!" 

Cyborg Cider Man Number Two was thrown to the ground. He spat and quickly jumped to his feet. 

"Cyborg Cider Man Number Two, are you alright?" Bystanders stood by, coming to Cyborg Cider Man Number Two's aid. He lightly brushed the dust off his (quite ridiculous) outfit and held a flat palm toward them to stop them from coming any closer.

"I'm fine, now please back away for your own safety." Everyone marveled at the bravery of this sticky sugary superhero. Kids in the crowd were cheering and yelling. He was the only person who could save them now, they were pretty desperate. "YOU WON'T HURT THOSE HOSTAGES! SODA ATTACK!"

The unnamed villain was ambushed in his plans by a spray of Cyborg Cider Man Number Two's carbonated power. His hostages attempted to cheer Cyborg Cider Man Number Two on, but they were quickly silenced. The crowd's attention turned to a tall figure behind Cyborg Cider Man Number Two.

"I'll take it from here." Baron Cola towered over Cyborg Cider Man Number Two. The crowd murmured, shocked that Baron Cola decided to show his face in public. It was not a pretty sight, either. Cyborg Cider Man Number Two was not close to even the slightest quiver, and he stood bravely, awaiting Baron Cola's next move. "I know you're thinking I'm here for the hostages," Baron Cola boomed. "But you would be wrong. I already have a hostage of my own." He dramatically, and out of nowhere, mind you, showed Cyborg Cider Man Number Two a smaller figure strapped to a chair. Cyborg Cider Man Number Two, from his distance, could just barely make out blue hair and big, sparkling eyes, begging him for help. It was Peach Tea Girl!

"Don't move, Cyborg Cider Man Number Two, it's a trap!" Peach Tea Girl said, although she really wanted to be saved by a big strong man like Cyborg Cider Man Number Two. But now was not the time. "He's trying to trick you into-"

"Oh, hush, you." Baron Cola kicked her chair. "Don't take my job. As I was saying, if you want your little girlfriend here to be saved-"

"She's not my girlfriend-" Cyborg Cider Man Number Two blushed and shifted uncomfortably. Peach Tea Girl did the same.

"...ahem. If you want Peach Tea Girl to be safe, you'll have to sacrifice your power. Here I have the power-stealer-inator 2000 and if you come any closer I'll have no choice but to use it on you! MUAHAHAHAHHAHA!" Baron Cola, out of nowhere (again) showed Cyborg Cider Man Number Two an incredibly obnoxious gadget. Despite its absurdity, it was scary.

"Don't come any closer, Cyborg Cider Man Number Two! It's not worth it. He already took my powers, just let him take me!" Peach Tea Girl was on the verge of tears, which struck something inside of Cyborg Cider Man Number Two's heart. He charged toward Baron Cola, who unfortunately had truly malicious intent toward him. Baron Cola pulled the trigger on his device, sending a beam that flew straight at Cyborg Cider Man Number Two. 

The crowd cheered as Cyborg Cider Man Number Two was able to counter his evil beam with a soda attack. Soon he was in proximity to Peach Tea Girl, and just as he was about to save her..

"MUAAHHAHAHAHA! YOU FOOL! I'VE TAKEN YOUR POWERS AND NOW THAT YOU'RE OUT OF MY WAY, I CAN FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Baron Cola celebrated his victory as Cyborg Cider Man Number Two untied Peach Tea Girl. 

"You're wrong."

"What? Don't be silly, I just used my power-stealer-inator 2000 on you." 

"You didn't take my powers. See, I have the power of a TV AD superhero and you can't take that away from me! If this franchise ends with you stealing my powers, sales will plummet, so I have the producers on my side." Peach Tea Girl clapped in awe, and Baron Cola fell to his knees.

"CURSE YOU CYBORG CIDER MAN NUMBER TWOOOO! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!" Baron Cola dramatically exited on a futuristic Cola-infused rocket. The crowd cheered again.

"You're amazing, thank you, Cyborg Cider Man Number Two." Peach Tea Girl hugged her hero.

"Of course. Anything for my partner in heroics." He smiled at her, and she returned the expression. "Unless.. you wanted to be more than just superhero partners?" Peach Tea Girl gasped.

"What do you mean by-"

"I love you, Peach Tea Girl. I would do anything for you." This received quite a few "awwws" from the crowd.

"Cyborg Cider Man Number Two.. I love you too."

....

Cool. They got married. The end.

Good grief, I thought that film would never end. And all for it to close with an ad for peach tea.

"LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN! AGAINNNN!" Yuuta energetically bounced toward the DVD player. I could hear Teruhashi's thoughts as she sat next to me.

"Are we really gonna watch that stupid thing again? This kid doesn't know when to stop, that's at least eight times now! And it's getting in the way of my alone time with Saiki-"

"Peach Tea Girl? I have a question." This is what Yuuta referred to Teruhashi as now, even though they don't look anything alike.

"Yes? What is it?" She replied with the kindest, softest voice she could muster. 

"Do you really love Cyborg Cider Man Number Two?" Yuuta pointed to me, and Teruhashi became flustered. "You must, 'cause we just saw it on the DVD, right? And you love Peach Tea Girl too, right?" I just stared at him in disbelief. That was uncalled for.