The Mishaps Of Kusuo Saiki And Various Other Less Important Characters

Road Trip

You read the title.

I'm not excited about this. I'm really not. Shocking, I know. Aiura called my mom and asked her if I could come on a road trip with them, and of course, mom forced me to go. I'm pretty sure it was only because they needed to borrow my dad's car, since none of them can drive. "They" are Akechi, Toritsuka, and Aiura.

As of now, I wait for Toritsuka to get himself together and get in the car. My dad's car. How unfortunate.

I made a plan for every aspect of this trip because nothing is going to go wrong this time. Akechi will sit in the passenger seat, and Aiura and Toritsuka in the back. I'll drive. I don't have a license, but I have psychic powers, and to be honest I only trust myself to drive.

Where are we going?

"Just drive. That's what makes it fun!" Toritsuka climbed through the window and fell head first into the backseat. "But not like you would know anything about fun."

Just open the door next time, you moron.

"Fine, just drive. We're all buckled in." So I did. I drove. And that may have been the biggest mistake I've ever made.

"There are plenty of places to eat along the way, so if anybody gets hungry we could go someplace. Also, I hope you know I get carsick really easily, but I know when I feel the urge to puke so I'll let you know." Akechi babbled on as usual.

If anybody feels any "urges" I'm turning this car around.

Not even ten minutes into the spontaneous trip..

"I need to use the lavatory." Akechi beamed at me like he didn't just inform me about his bodily "urges." I'm already on my last straw.

You just used the bathroom before we left.

"I need to go again."

We pulled in to a popular fast food franchise and let Akechi scurry inside really quick. I wanted to wait in the car, but Aiura wanted a drink, so we followed.

"You have to buy something in order to use the bathroom here. It's a widely-known rule." Toritsuka looked at the menu.

You're not even using the bathroom, and Aiura already got something. You don't need anything.

"They have coffee."

Medium, please.

My order was finished, and it was in that moment I remembered. I didn't bring any money. I, an all-knowing psychic, forgot an essential. It's not the first time, either, and that's what makes it disappointing. Toritsuka turned to me with a queer look, and I knew exactly what he was thinking. Partly because I'm psychic.

Don't even think about it.

"I already paid for your coffee. Looks like you owe me a favor." Toritsuka grinned.

I hate owing people more than I hate standing out, and Toritsuka is the worst possible person to owe a favor. I shrugged and took a sip of my coffee. It's good.

Akechi is taking a suspiciously long time in the bathroom. I guess Toritsuka saw the look on my face and he went to check on Akechi while Aiura and I just stood there, drinks in hand.

"Can I try some of your drink, Kusuo?" She snatched it right out of my hand and contaminated it so I snatched hers and did the same. An elderly couple walked by and looked- no- stared at us. I like to think people age backwards sometimes..

"What a lovely couple! You two are so cute."

Aiura and I just looked at each other and shared a thought. Ew. I could hear her stirring up a response in her mind, and I immediately knew I would not like what was about to come out of her mouth.

"He's gay."

At least that got the people to leave. I mean, I'm not angry. But why was that her first response-

Yeah, he looks gay. I should've just kept walking, I heard.

I've never been more confused and I guess it showed. Aiura giggled. 

Soon after, Toritsuka came out of the bathroom.

You're missing something.

"You better check this out.." Toritsuka gave me an apologetic smile and took my arm, leading me into the restroom. Akechi was curled up on the floor and his face was ghostly white.

"I- may have- hurled- a little."

We were only in the car for ten minutes. Don't lay on the floor.

"Well at least now there's nothing left to throw up. I'll probably be fine for the rest of the trip, thanks for asking." I didn't- okay. Anyways.

We made our way back to the car after that.. unfortunate circumstance, and soon enough we were back on the road. Akechi was in the backseat this time. I wasn't taking chances.

"A ghost told me you're gay, Saiki-" Toritsuka started.

Don't.

He was silent after that. Not for long though. Akechi definitely wasn't silent, either.

"Let's put on some music," Aiura said, and proceeded to get out her phone.

"Now wait a second," Akechi unnecessarily intervened. "How do we know who gets to pick the music?"

"Uh- me, obvi. I have the best taste."

"Just a minute-"

We are not doing this. Take turns.

They took turns. Akechi and Toritsuka were oddly silent so I checked the rearview mirror. Akechi was sitting on top of Toritsuka, and they had their arms around each other.

What are you doing?

"I was cold," Akechi said.

"He was cold," Toritsuka said. They both told the whole truth with three simple words. Why am I still here?

"I have to pee." Guess who?

God, Touma, it's been ten freaking minutes-

"There's not a rest stop for at least forty minutes, it was bound to happen." The tires screeched as I pulled over. "WAIT YOU'RE NOT KICKING ME OUT ARE YOU?"

No. Just go, you're not peeing in my dad's car. That would've gotten you kicked out.

"In- on the side of the highway? That's unsanitary."

I do not care.

To be continued.