The Mishaps Of Kusuo Saiki And Various Other Less Important Characters

HeeSOHkuh the magician

Chono is supposed to have another show today. I guess I should stop by and see how he's doing, I haven't actually cared in a while. I took my seat in the audience (which, unsurprisingly, did not have too many people) and waited for the curtain to open. Does anybody else hear that mariachi music?

Wait. That's not Chono. What on god's green earth did I buy a ticket to? I lost coffee jelly money for this.

"Hello, my adoring audience. I've awaited your arrival." This clown sounds exactly like Keith Silverstein. Isn't that funny? "Let's get down to business. For my first trick, I have a lovely deck of cards. Observe." He took out a pack of standard Bicycle playing cards and showed them to the very small audience. I want to leave.

A really pale, tall guy with a more stoical expression on his face than I could ever pull off, rolled a target onto the stage. Clown Guy proceeded to throw the cards, each one piercing the very center of the target, splitting each card before it. What kind of sorcery-

Ah. I get it. After briefly reading his mind, I figured out that he shouldn't be here anyway. This kind of stuff always happens to me. He was using a special aura to sharpen the cards. I also found that their outfits weren't costumes, ironically enough. 

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. You, with the astounding green glasses." Hisoka (I found his name using telepathy) pointed directly at me. That's not how volunteering works. I stalled a bit making my way up to the stage to savor my final moments of sanity.

"Watch as I miraculously float my kind volunteer without touching him!" Good grief, I could float myself just as easily. But against my will, I felt a force lifting me up. It also happened to jostle me left and right for a few seconds. They were the longest seconds of my life. "Whoopsie.. lost control of my bungee gum for a moment. Witness my power." I was used to levitating, but not uncontrollably.

"I recommend you don't 'jostle' your audience if you do not wish to drive them away," Illumi stated. Yes, put me down. "Besides, he could easily kill you if he desired. His aura is strong."

"I noticed that, dearest. That's why I chose him. He and I are going to fight." I did not sign up for this. The nonexistent audience gasped. "Square up, bubblegum."

Don't call me that. He can't make fun of my pink hair in that getup. I really don't want to fight someone so beneath me. 

"Are you skeptical of my power? Or are you afraid?" 

Uh.. neither?

"Hisoka, don't provoke him. I've warned you." Illumi didn't seem concerned at all. He's decent, maybe he can stay. I just stared at Hisoka like I usually do.

"Ugh, that lOok!" What-

Hisoka proceeded to make a less-than-publicly-decent noise. I just teleported home at that point. There were like two people in the audience anyway.

Meanwhile, in the world of Hunter x Hunter...

"Please don't hurt me, I'm just a poor street magician slash comedian slash homeless guy, have mercy!!!" Chono wailed.

"I'm not going to hurt you, but I'm wondering where Hisoka went. We were having an important conversation. And why is your art style different? What's going on?" Kurapika questioned Chono ruthlessly.

"I don't know, I just want to go home."

what even was this