Publishing date: 04/19/2022
Warning: In the end of this chapter appears some mature content. It is nothing that big, but still inappropriate for younger readers. I will include the special markings here so that you can skip this part freely.
"Goodbye, Alina. To the next meeting."
Alina didn't know if she was able to carry another burden in form of an excess of emotions which were now filling her body. The girl had just experienced one nervous breakdown, and she was about to attract more misfortunes, which with a good dose of probability awaited her in the Grand Palace. All Mal's cruel words were still echoing in her mind, and even though the young Grisha tried to take at least some of the blame for what had happened to her marriage, she simply couldn't bring herself to do it.
Mal despises me. He doesn't accept me. It's like an unskillfully committed suicide shot to the head, when the bullet misses the most important blood vessels and the suicide's agony lasts for many cruel hours filled with pain.
Alina remembered what kind of thoughts had accompanied her when her and Aleksander Morozova's fortunes had intertwined again. She couldn't forget how much she had despised the Darkling then, and what kind of hatred even a minimal closeness to the Shadow Summoner had aroused in her.
Meanwhile, Alina Oretsev's world had turned upside down now. It turned out that Aleksander was the only person who not only did not condemn the white-haired girl for who she really was, but who considered it as a great virtue, not a disadvantage. Alina was convinced that the Darkling was interested in her only because of her unique abilities, but the way he had reacted to her confrontation with Mal and his subsequent words to her could not leave the girl's mind, ringing in her with a cruel echo.
Meanwhile, Mal had revealed his true face.
So many years of their relationship turned out to be not only a fiction, but it also made Alina doubt her own identity. It was true that the girl had already chosen the side of Ravkan conflict, but deep down herself she had never wanted to give up being, at least partially, also otkazat'sya. The Havoc Summoner did not want to deny herself her former normalcy, so that she could also identify with ordinary people. To give them attention, care for them and to never forget that they had the same right as Grisha to peacefully exist in Ravka.
But now the most important otkazat'sya in life of Alina Oretsev had showed her his contempt. Mal had disowned his wife as soon as it had turned out that his beloved one had become more than him. That she had surpassed him in every possible way.
"Don't let yourself feel inferior to the Tracker." A voice that was echoing in Alina's mind was calm but firm. As if the Darkling knew what he was talking about. "You are Grisha. You are the most powerful female summoner. You are the legend of the Saints. You are hope for Ravka. You are a personification of power. You are my strength, my little Alina."
"And the same time I am an outcast. People are afraid of me, and they will point their fingers at me as they did before."
"Power is built on dread. There is no greater strength than fear. This is fear which shakes empires, and which inspires respect. And it is only the respect that keeps you in power. It's a closed circle, my little Alina. It's the wheel of life. Some are born to rule, and others are born to serve. You are in the first group."
"I don't want power. What is it worth for me when at the same time it means my misfortune?"
"Do you think that you are unhappy? You will have everything by my side. People will kiss your feet."
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In The Name of Shadows - A Darklina Story
FanfictionIt has been more than a year since Alina Oretsev (formerly known as Alina Starkov) has tried to shake off the events that destroyed the Shadow Fold and that stripped her of her Sun Summoner's powers. The events that took his life - the life of the D...
