What If I Love You? (Phan)

7 Dan

9 days until Phil.

Yawning, I run a hand through my messy fringe. Today was the day I got to go home and tomorrow is the day of Mae's, Mae's funeral. Her brother, Keefe, had organised it quickly, not wanting to draw it out. Prolong the pain, I mean. It's like a band aid, you either rip it off or you can just wait but it'll hurt. It's sad that you still have pain ; you don't want to draw it out. Anyway, home. I was going back to my safe place, even though it's safer with Phil. I have to have stupid crutches because of my fractured leg and foot but I'm so lucky. To be hit by a car and not have any head injuries is like not real. I feel so lucky and it's not even real to me, it's like a big joke and the doctors going to come put like 'oh sorry you have severe head trauma and you're probably going to die, sorry' and then it'll be all over. But this is real and I'm okay.

At twelve o'clock, a nurse comes in with a tray of food.
"Oh wow, the only food to complete with airplane food for worst meal," I joke to the invisible friend by my side. I know I sound bitter, it's just I feel like I need someone. Carrie's coming in an hour so we can go home but right now it just feels lonely.
"Do you want to watch the new Amazingphil vid?" I look up and she's got brown hair with blonde ends.
"Sure, what's your name?" I watch as she places a MacBook in front of me,
"I'm Mazie, I've just come back from America and Carrie collected this in case you wanted to watch something." America? Like Phil but it's unlikely she met Phil. His new video is titled To Two People and the thumbnail looks very Tumblr.
"Hey guys, this is a different video, it's for two people, one you all know the other I met this afternoon. I promise I'll be back to me next video," Phil is in a hotel room and I can make out Tyler Oakley in the background. The scene changes to a park, on the swing sets. You can see Phil's feet swinging but a female voice breaks the silence.
"Excuse me?" She asks if he's Phil and they talk, the camera only showing their feet. Phil has some black sneakers but the girl has green Converse. The shot then pans up to her face and it's my nurse.
"You- you met Phil!" I splutter and she blushes a little,
"Keep watching," She smiles,
"This girl, Mazie, made me realise, I've made an impact on so many people's lives and I just want you to know, if you're not happy, I want you to promise to me that you'll smile. Just smile. And now to my second person," It switches to a slideshow of me and Phil to two songs: 2009 and 2022 both by Katherine and Eden. Has he just outed himself?
"I know you must be thinking, oh my god has Phil said that Phan is real? No I haven't because I'm pretty sure that Dan is straight." I swear his face drops a little,
"But Dan is amazing. He's the bravest person I know and I admire him. I guess he's sort of my hero, my idol and I live with him. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because this all seems like a dream to have someone like Dan. He's been hit by a car but only his foot and leg are injured. Like how is that possible? The only thing I can think of is he might be a guardian angel. Like some people have Angels and he might just be mine.
" I just feel so lucky to have met him. Dan is like such a cool person and he doesn't even have to try. He's just so amazing and I can't even put it into words how happy I am to know him. He's the best person I know, no offence Peej, Carrie, Chris and everyone else but come on, it's Dan. Just yesterday, me and Cat were talking about how successful our friends are. We talked about how far Dan has gone and I'm so proud of him. I love him but Phan shippers please don't do crazy. I don't want him to freak out so please don't. You don't know what it means to me but please please please don't do your thing and go crazy. This was just another video where you found out a new thing about me and I'll see you next week. Byee!" He he loves me?
"Me?" Mazie nods and I sit up, stupid grin on my face.
"Oh my god!" I start singing silly love songs because Phil loves me! I keep singing for an hour.

Carrie walks in to a rare sight, me singing with a nurse.
"I guess you've seen the video," Carrie laughs before hugging me.
"I've got clothes for you, don't worry," Carrie holds up a black bag full of black clothes. Wow loads of colours Dan! Mazie leaves but Carrie stays to help me get dressed. I just have a plain black tee shirt and some black sweatpants to fit over my cast easier.

Walking back into room, Mazie has a pair of silver crutches.
"So these are the things I have to use," I grimace before hopping up and placing them under my arms. I practice along the length of my room and they're not as bad as I thought. The girls pack up my stuff while I practice hobbling along on one foot in the corridor.
"Dan, you ready to sign out?" Mazie calls to me so I head back to the room,
"Mazie, this might sound weird but can we exchange numbers?" I nervously trail off at the end,
"That would be great!" She smiles before giving me her phone- I do the same. We hug goodbye, I sign out and then head on to home.

"Ugh I'm tired from the lift," I moan to Carrie as we sit on the sofa, slobbing out with treats aplenty, watching Disney films.
"Do you remember when Phil thought it was Gisney?" We laugh and talk about him.
"What if I'm dreaming?" I ask Carrie tentatively,
"Well it'll be the best dream you ever had,"