Summer in Love - Seasons with Sadie series

The ugly truth

I took a quick shower as soon as I got home, I had to wash off the days work and the sleep I had in the car. I dozed off the entire ride on Noah's lap while he listened to music in his earphones. I'm sure Martin enjoyed the silent ride compared to me talking his ear off in the morning, I'm positive Noah liked me not talking to him either. He can be a little possessive, I don't mind it because the consequences of his jealousy usually favour me. 

I tuck my tank top into jean shorts. These were one of the only items of clothing I could find out of the many clothes Mrs Hunt bought for me. The rest of my closet was filled with summer dresses, dress shirts and loose flowing pants. Basically a mini-version of her own style. It was beautiful and elegant but...it just wasn't me.

Down in the kitchen I open the fridge to retrieve the leftovers from this mornings breakfast. There has to be something to eat since we left the table full of fresh food but when I open the fridge door there's nothing but produce and dairy products. What the actual fuck? I'm so shocked, that the thought of Noah's parents scoffing down the entire tables breakfast as soon as we left makes me laugh. 

I settle with a red apple and head outside for some fresh air to cool off from the warm weather due to the sun setting. The entire garden and entrance way looks like it's on fire because of the clear view of the wide horizon. Far in the garden I hear Noah speaking to himself, repeating words and phrases. He must be practicing a script for class. 

''Hey, you can't just sneak up on me like that.'' He jolts and flicks the pages in his hand. Noah sits on the bench opposite the pond. The warm light hits his tan skin perfectlly, exaggerating hisbrown eyes in the sunlight.

I scooch up beside him, our hips pressing close together. ''Sorry, I didn't wanna cut you off...''

''No worries, I'm just not used to having somone here,''

''What? Here in your secret hideout spot where you can fake-cry in peace.'' I joke, nudging at his elbow. His face doesn't crack though, his gaze stays on the glimmering pond.

''No, I'm not used having someone that I care about sticking around for this long and so near. My entire life it's always just been me. Alone with nobody else but my parents and the staff that comes and goes. At one point I almost had something that looked like a family...''

His eyes glossed over.

''It's okay Noah you don't have to talk about it if it's too much to-''

''It's alright,'' he turns his head to me, ''I've let it go, it's been years. I just wish my mom would feel the same. She's still hung up on the idea that we aren't complete without her, like we shoulld almsot take some of the weight of her miscarriage. I understand her pain but I don't think that she understands my anger. The constant feeling that I am not enough for her as her one and ony child. She's insatiable. Makes me wonder if she would have grown closer to me or even further if she were born. At this point I don't know if I would want either outcomes. There's only one good thing that's come out of her sadness and obssession.''

Noah leans in and kisses the corner of my lip softly. I sit still on the bench. I knew this all along but I didn't have the guts to admit it to myself,  because it sounded crazy. Mrs Hunt didn't just adopt me out of the kindness of her heart and sympathy for my poor mother, she wanted me to fill a hole in her heart, the space she reserved for her daughter, the fantasies she had of the perfect family. All the holidays and weeks I spent at their homes around the world, spontaneous move to her home in Amsterdam and the rare scholarship in the middle of the year. My room...pre-filled with racks and racks of clothes fit perfectly to her taste and body. The dress she made for me months before the launch party...

Mrs Hunt replaced me with the daughter she lost. 

My eyes sting with tears as they roll down my face. My mom, my poor mother. I miss her so much. There's no way she just let me go that easily? My tears run under my chin, falling on my shirt now. Noah kisses my tears and wipes them away. I make no sound. It's as he knows what's running through my mind. He's been thinking of this too, there is no way he hasn't. A wave of betrayal washes over my rapid thoughts. ''Noah...'' I croak ''I wanna go home.''

''I know.'' He pulls me into him, catching me as I break into sobs, my chest burns and my hands shake as I clutch onto his shirt. Noah rubs my back and lays his chin in my hair. He repeats, that he knows, over and over making me cry even harder. He knows I'm trapped, he knows I'm hurt, he knows there's nothing I can do.

''Allister.'' I sniff and hold my shaky breath, ''We're leaving this place. Me and you.''

I crane my neck from his shirt and rest my head against his steady chest, I hear his heart beat fast, ferociously. ''After graduation, we're getting out of this place.'' He pulls the pages on the his side of the bench and presents them in front of me. My eyes widen as I attempt to read through my teary eyes. ''Are these confirmation letters?''

''Yeah, it took a quarter of my trust fund to get these IDs, passport, one way flights and home deposits done. As soon as I figured out why my mom was being so anal about everything that revolved around you and the business, I knew that she had orchestrated something a little less innocent than playing house. I couldn't stand the idea of you feeling like I did in this home...in this house.'' 

''Graduation is in a month.'' I mutterted, sketching out the timeline of our escape.

''No my A, total freedom is in a month.''