The Object of My Unholy Desire (Xiaoaether)

Side Chapter 1: Incorrect Quotes

This is mostly taken from r/jokes on Reddit.

Also some vines

Credit to the Reddit 😉

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Xingqiu: I refused to waste money paying an exorcist, so he repossessed my house.

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Venti: How do birds learn to fly? They just wing it!

Xiao: *slaps drunk Venti upside the head.*

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Chongyun: I only put one eye on my snowman. That way, if it ever comes to life, the lack of depth perception will give me a tactical advantage.

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Hu Tao: Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!

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Childe: Save your money. You never know when your friends will need it.

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Scaramouche: Could a murderer do THIS!? *Proceeds to not kill anyone*

Yanfei: He's got a point.

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Kazuha: I drew my sword. The guy in front of me(Albedo) drew his sword. Then, I drew my other sword. Soon we were surrounded by some lovely drawings of swords.

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Scaramouche: Blood is thicker than water. And a lot harder to clean off the walls.

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Fischl: I witnessed a murder in the park last night and called 911. They told me to stop calling a leave the crows alone.

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Zhongli: It was quite cold last night.

Hu Tao: I had my heat on.

Zhongli: I meant outside.

Hu Tao: I don't live outside.

Zhongli:.....

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Scaramouche: Any question is a hard hitting question when it's written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.

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Chongyun: If I stabbed someone with an icicle, no one would find the murder weapon because it melts. This thought is haunting me.

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Xiao: I wasn't kicking you. I was encouraging you to get the hell out of my way.

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Kaeya: Not sure if I should be more concerned about Diona who locked me out of my bedroom today, or Klee, who showed me how to pick the lock.

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Childe: I miss the days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.

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Scaramouche: There's no I in denial.

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Bennet: I just cut my hand on a box of Band-Aids if you were wondering how I'm doing at life.

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Chongyun: That awkward moment when you stub your toe and accidentally summon the spirits of a thousand dead feet while you yell and curse.

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