✓ sinful. | 정원

chapter 04.

sinful.
⸻ [ 章 04 ] 。
❛ the wrong desire. ❜

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I was waiting.

    

I was just waiting for an answer. What now? Will he disappear?
 
       
   
I still felt a strange feeling. As if I wanted him in my life. My body wanted to get close to him, and not let it go.

        

"I just want to look into your beautiful eyes again, why won't you let me?" his whisper changed to a half-whisper.

      

This time, I heard him more clearly, as if he was closer to me. And I don't know why, but it didn't bother me at all. It actually made my heart beat faster. But not from terror, but from joy.

          

I frowned, unable to understand my body. It was fucking weird  and I felt like I was treading the border. As if every word of this conversation made me sink deeper and deeper into thirst.

    

I saw, that I involuntarily moved to the window. I bit my lip, and I stepped back enough not to be tempted, but still good to hear him.

       

"We do not know each other. I do not know who you are. Maybe you are a psychopath?" I finally said in one breath.

      

Yes. It was what I really thought. Apart from the fact that I was crazy, because I was talking with a whisper in my head, I couldn't be sure if it was that boy. After all, this man could already not to be in front of my house. I was already a long time ago when I looked outside.

       

"If you would looked again, you could see who I am." his voice grew louder again.

       

I heard him only speaking in a low tone. When did it change so quickly? I put my feet on the cold floor, which made me shudder at the temperature difference.

      

I was panicking. Why am I doing this? Why my mind had no power over my body, to do what I wanted?

          

I flexed all my muscles, wanting to stay where I was. I felt, that it wouldn't end well if I would took another step. The temptation would be too strong to fight it.

      

"No. I'm not allowed to." I answered in a strong voice, which made me quickly grab my lips.

       

I listened to see if there was any sound coming from my mom's room. Luckily, nothing like that happened, so I exhaled in a relief.

       

"I don't know you. I don't know who you are." I added, looking boldly at the blinds.

      

I had an overwhelming feeling, that someone was behind them. As if only this thin veil separated me, from someone I didn't know.

        

"If you let me, I will show you who I am." the tone of his voice was sweet as honey, but left a sour aftertaste.

         

It made me choke on its sound, and at the same time I wanted more of it. It was like an addiction.

         

"What do you think?" he asked in a lower voice.

       

Maybe I was stupid, but I was smart enough to run away from my room, and just went to my mom's bedroom, under the pretext of having a nightmare. The woman hugged me to her body, which made me feel pleasant and warm. I could fall asleep quickly in safety.

       

I woke up in the middle of the night, this time by a real nightmare. I dreamed of being followed by someone, and then that person attacked me.I was shaking. Not wanting to wake up my mom (again), I quickly got out of the warm sheets, and headed towards the kitchen to drink some water. I meticulously passed my room, which filled me with a weird fear.

         

I turned on the light, and poured some water into a glass, to take my stress away. I closed my eyes, and brushed my hair with my fingers. When I looked at the watch, I saw three in the morning.

     

I exhaled, and licked my lips. Maybe what happened before was also just a part of that nightmare?

     

I tried to get it out of my mind. After all, hope is the mother of fools, right?

       

I rubbed my eyes, and decided to go back to bed, almost falling asleep while going up the stairs. I had to get up early tomorrow because of a morning shift, and that wasn't one of my favorite activities.

      

I entered my room involuntarily, but I only understood it as the whispers slipped into my sleepy mind.

      

"Why did you run away?" a calm voice asked, causing me to sober up almost immediately.

        

Oddly enough, he wasn't angry. He sounded completely normal, as if even worried. I blinked a few times, unable to comprehend it all. So it wasn't a dream after all? And this person standing in front of my house was not stray partygoer or a stalker at all?

        

Someone who stood in front of my house, and then only worries was definietly not a human. He was not even a psychopath.

       

I scratched my shoulder, trying to absorb everything. Unfortunately it was happening very reluctantly because of my dull mind.

       

"You can't fall asleep?" the gentle tone stuck into my thoughts again, completely dismissing all the peace. As if only he, and only its owner mattered.

         

I looked towards the window, and I had no idea what to do. Not knowing why his voice didn't bother me anymore. On the contrary, I wanted to talk to him. It somehow calmed me down strangely, and only made me feel pleasant chills. There was something about his tone, that made me trust him.

      

As if he could help me with everything I wanted.

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