Tolkien University (Modern LOTR AU)

Chapter 18 ~ Truth

~Callie's Point of View~

Song: "I Love You" by Woodkid

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As Sam listened to everything I was saying, I watched his expression turn into one of confusion, and then hurt, and then a sad resoluteness. He wouldn't meet my eyes, but he also wouldn't let go of my hands. I squeezed them gently and he finally met my eyes.

"I don't know how I'll ever fix what I did to you." I whispered hoarsely, a tear running down my cheek. "I-I didn't even realize that it was true until you told me about Arielle, and I met Imara, and you both revealed yourselves to be Skinchangers and could turn into dragons. None of you were ever unwanted characters. You were just... new."

"Is that all I am to you, Callie?" He asked softly. "A character you designed to help you cope with your pain?"

I blinked, shocked, then began to shake my head, gripping his hands tighter. "No. No. Don't ever think that. Please get that thought out of your head. No, Baldor. I love you."

He nodded slowly, but I wasn't sure if he believed me or not. I felt a heaviness settle on my chest and shoulders and I slowly loosened my grip on his hands, and he didn't make a move to take mine back.  I swallowed past the lump forming in my throat and said, "I swear it, Sam. Please know I'm telling the truth."

He didn't reply. He didn't meet my eyes. Neither would Imara or Haven. I tried to put myself in their shoes- how I'd feel if I learned what they just learned about me. But I didn't believe that I even had these abilities until I wrote Boromir's sword out of existence. I wondered how much more I had ruined or destroyed in the process.

I released his hands, but he kept them resting on top of mine, as if he didn't want to break contact. Finally, he said,

"Callie, you had no idea any of this was a reality before you got here. You couldn't have known what would happen- I certainly wouldn't have. From the moment I saw you I was attracted to you- I knew you were important, and now I know why. You are our Author, and that... is a bit weird to realize. It takes a moment to recover from the initial shock of it all. It's like... if you were to suddenly meet the deity that you believe in, and has been your literal religion for your whole life, for them to turn out to be your girlfriend."

I nodded slowly. "I understand. I don't know how to make it up to you. I caused your suffering, and I'm sorry."

He held his arms out to me and I hesitated, then slowly slid closer to him across the bench and he pulled me into a hug. I moved my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder and when he kissed the top of my head, a flood of relief flowed through me.

"In a way, everything makes sense now." Imara mumbled and I looked at her. She wiped at her eyes, shifting closer to Haven and said, "It makes sense now why we can never get ahold of the Ring. If anything, it was the first Tolkien that came up with the Ring, and you just came up with us. Did any of us ever actually wield the Ring?"

I pulled away slightly from Baldor and nodded. "Yeah. You did, Imara. The Ring was crafted partly using your blood- it's where it gets some of its powers from. So... you have as much sway over the Ring as Sauron does."

"Shit." Baldor murmured. "No wonder dad always favored you. You gave his Ring power- did you even know?"

She swallowed hard and said, "No."

I clenched my jaw. "I'm sorry."

"It's weird to sit with someone that knows more about your own life than you do." Haven says and scratches at the back of his neck. "Really weird."