Heartstopper Imagines

Struggles & Sexuality // nick/Charlie

Hope you enjoy!

Nick and Charlie had been out as a couple for a month now, the comments and whispers at school had died down and Nick and Charlie had never been stronger, but Nick still felt a hole in his heart - he didn't understand why. 

Though they were out as a couple, Nick hadn't figured out his sexuality, he tried so hard. He must've taken hundreds of quizzes and spoken to all his friends about it, but he still couldn't figure it out. Nick hated himself for it. He felt like he didn't belong, he felt he was doing something wrong. 

He'd never tell Charlie, of course, he didn't want him to make him feel bad. But that left Nick with no one to talk to. So here he was, on his bed, with his dog. Yet another buzzed quiz infront of him. 67% homosexual. Nick's frustration grew, the last one had said 80% bisexual, and before that - 50% heterosexual. He grew angry, and sad. He felt so confused, he almost wished he'd never acted on his feelings. but then he wouldn't have Charlie - and Charlie was his everything. 

A tear fell from Nick's eyes as he stared at his computer screen. What if he never figures this out? he kicked off his covers and got out of bed, heading down to his garage - straight for the punching bag. 

At first he punched The bag with the gloves on, loud music blaring, drowning out Nick's angry grunts. Then he took the gloves off, revelling in the pain - as if he deserved it. Until, he moved on from the bag, tears flowing from his eyes. he missed the bag and his bare knuckles drove straight into the hard plywood that the bag was attached to. He groaned in pain, but he carried on. Soon tears were pouring from his eyes as quick as blood fell from his knuckles. His cries were drowned out by the heavy music.

Eventually, Nick stopped. Eventually, the music died down and the bag stopped swinging, eventually his knuckles had had enough and the plywood beam looked almost as bad as NIck's knuckles, but his feelings didn't die down. 

his feelings of disgust towards himself still bubbled inside of him, and as long as they were there, so were the tears. He fell back onto his bum, his knees up. with his arms resting in them as his head fell on top. He sobbed for himself, for the questions that plagues him. What am I? Why can't I figure it out? What if I'm making these feelings up? What if this hurts Charlie? His sobs didn't cease once, until he heard a voice, then the garage opening.

"Nick?" Charlie's soft voice rang out, the pain from seeing Nick this way was evident after just a second of making eye contact with him. He hated the sight before him, his boyfriend, sweaty and crumpled on the floor. His knuckles bloody, his stomach clenching in and out from the sobs. 

"Hi Char."

Part two? hope you enjoyed - unedited.