Jennie
Rosé calls me the following evening. I've expected her call for days; in fact, I secretly looked forward to it. It seems I'm subconsciously latching onto anything that will remind me of Lisa, no matter how badly I try to convince myself I don't want to think of her. Thinking of Lisa hurts, but it also makes me happy.
I smile as I answer the phone, an expression riddled with trepidation over our impending conversation.
"Hey, Rosé."
"Oh my gosh, Jennie," she breathes excitedly. "Thank God you answered."
"Why wouldn't I answer?" I ask, confused.
"I figured you'd hate me!" she cries, her voice anguished. "After what Lisa did to you. We're not really related, I swear. Our parents actually bought Lisa for a nickel. Gosh, what an idiot she is!"
I chuckle, feeling at ease for the first time in days. I barely know Rosé, yet it's been far too long since I've heard her voice.
"You don't have to apologize for her," I argue.
"Of course I do, Jennie. This whole thing is my fault."
"Rosé..."
"And you dated Kai! I can't believe it. I feel so bad for you!"
"He never did anything too terrible to me," I say, attempting to placate her. I don't really think this is true. "Well, except for the bet..."
"Exactly! The bet. He just doesn't know how to leave people alone."
"I'm fine, Rosé. Really. You don't have to worry."
"I know, I know. You can take care of yourself. I just can't help it. I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I heard the story."
I grin despite the subject of our conversation.
"I just want to...I just want to..." She growls into the receiver. "God forgive me, I shouldn't think such awful thoughts about people," she says abruptly. "Even if they are soul-less dicks who deserve to be castrated." As an afterthought, she quickly adds, "I'm talking about Kai, not Lisa."
"Oh. Yeah, I assumed," I say quickly.
"Though I'm totally kicking Lisa's ass the next time I see her," she adds.
"Okay." I have a feeling Lisa can defend herself. Or else I'm just becoming a truly heartless bitch, because no part of me actually fears for his safety against tiny Rosé.
"So when are you going to forgive Lisa?" she asks, and I'm alarmed at the abrupt change in subject.
"Excuse me?" I sputter.
"You are going to forgive her, right?" she asks anxiously.
"You mean Lisa?"
"Of course, Jennie. Who else? Not Kai!"
"Well, yeah. Of course not Kai," I say, mostly to myself.
"Are you still mad at Lisa?" she goes on. "She apologized to you, right? She told me she did."
"Yes, Rosé. She did."
"Are you going to forgive her? Please, please, please say you are," she begs. I'm a little confused at her enthusiasm.
"Why does it even matter?" I wonder, my tone a little harder than before.
I want to forgive her. More so than Rosé probably knows. But it's just not that simple. It's not as simple as just...doing it...the way she seems to believe.
"Lisa cares about you, Jennie. A lot."
"Oh yeah?" I say rudely. I can't believe I'm being so harsh to this girl. None of this is her fault. "I'm sorry, Rosé," I hastily apologize.
"Don't be," she says quickly, not giving me a chance to grovel. She doesn't seem offended by my words. "You have every right to be upset about this. I shouldn't be pushing you."
"Thank you."
She pauses.
"Oh, but you will forgive Lisa, right?" she goes on, unable to control herself. I groan loudly.
"Rosé!"
"She's a good person, Jennie. I promise. This whole bet thing isn't like her. I mean, she's made her fair share of mistakes. But who hasn't? We talked about you for a long time. She's very taken with you, Jennie. And that hasn't happened in years."
"Why hasn't it happened in years?" I wonder, insanely curious, yet I don't really expect to get an answer.
"I don't know exactly," she says. She sounds conflicted. "Lisa's never really told me much about it. About what happened. But what I do know...I'm not even sure it's my story to tell."
"Yeah, well," I say, but I have nothing else to contribute. She's right; it's probably not her story to tell. And I have no business trying to guilt it out of her.
"I don't know where I would be without Lisa," she says quietly. The love and adoration for Lisa is evident in her voice, despite how angry she claims to be.
"I don't think she's a bad person, Rosé," I say truthfully. "I'm just kind of confused about everything. About how I feel."
"That's understandable. I don't mean to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. It's just...I saw a change in her. And tonight, when I talked to her, it was pretty clear how much she cares about you."
That would sound so much better coming from Lisa.
"Thank you, Rosé. I just need a little more time to think about everything. I don't hate Lisa, though. I probably couldn't even if I wanted to."
She's quiet for a moment.
"Thank you, Jennie," she finally says.
