We finally arrived at the hotel before 8 , Ramdam ko talaga ang pagiging kalmado ko pag nasa South Korea. I don't know ,I just feel something that I can't explain. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam . Seoul feels like home to me.
This is my third time being here , so medyo nasanay lang siguro ako sa atmosphere dito.
Matapos kong mag shower at ayusin sarili ko naisipan kong silipin ang bawat parte ng hotel room . Ugali ko talagang sigurista . I want everything to be safe for me and for my mom , also knowing that it is a great way to keep my mind away from remembering the huge weight of the burden I have.
Keeping myself busy thinking about other things than to constantly go back to the same thoughts .
Napatigil ako sa may terrace ng hotel, infairness sa terrace nila ha , approved sa taste ko sa design and sa equipment na nandun . I mean, it doesn't have to always satisfy me but it feels good that it happened to fit my style , making up my mood . Iginala ko ang mga mata ko sa kabuuan ng terrace ,medyo may kalakihan , organisado, buhay at kakaiba ang desenyo .
I think I found the perfect spot to enjoy the view . Ang ganda ng tanawin ,ang naghahalong kulay mula sa ilaw ng mga gusali at sasakyan , sinuman ay magagandahan sa kung ganito ang nasisilayan , may buhay , makulay at masarap pagmasdan.
This is my favorite hotel among all the hotels na pinag stayhan namin , medyo nasa may pinakataas na room kami so mas kita talaga yung ganda ng view ng ilang parte ng Seoul. Patuloy kong iginala ang mata ko hanggang sa isang malaking gusali ang nakatawag ng aking pansin dahil sa kakaibang disensyo nito at dahil ito ang pinaka mailaw at mataas , medyo nasa may side nga lang sya ng hotel na to , so kinailngan ko pang galawin ng konti yung sarili ko para mas komportable yung tindig ko habang nagmamasid. Hilig ko ding suriin yung building designs, and this one is quiet unique , so I can't say that it doesn't stoop out among other buildings .Napatingin ako sa logo sa upper side ng building .
Ayan nanaman sa weird na pakiramdam ko . This feeling again.
" That logo " bigla akong napaisip nang mapagmasdan kong mabuti yung logo ng malaking gusali sa harapan ko.
" I think I've seen that before" . pilit kong inaalala kung saan ko nakita yung logo na yun. Medyo nakadama ako ng kaba, no hindi na medyo dahil talagang kumakalabog ang puso , the most unusual beating .
Hindi ko alam pero iba pakiramdam ko . Parang pamilyar . The crown and design, I saw that before. Matagal akong nag isip , gusto kong ma alala. Where ? or just to confirm if I really saw that logo .
I closed my eyes to concentrate and remember.
Think, think ,think. Remember it Jai...
" Dang it. Stupid mind"
After minutes of trying and I gave up . I ended the crap in me and pulled myself together. Masyado nanaman akong napapaisip .
Ba't ba ako ganto, ang daming weird feelings sa mga bagay bagay.
" Nevermind. Baka hawig lang " I talked to myself .
"Pero Kasi parang hindi, parang it's exactly the same . My mind knows that's exactly identical to what I'm seeing. I remember the logo , but I don't know where and when did I saw that " kontra ko sa sarili ko.
"Tumigil ka Jaiyana . Kung ano ano nanamn sayo " sita ko rin sa sarili ko.
Medyo matagal tagal din yung pakikipag sagutan ko sa sarili sa loob ng utak ko. Para na akong baliw ,dahil lamang sa logong yun . I decided to go back inside . Inayos ko nalang yung gamit ko , bago bumalik si mama at bago na din dumating yung inorder naming pagkain.
" Crown , small intials , the C on it and the overall style. Nakita ko na talaga yun eh "
Not even a minute and I suddenly found myself mumbling again . Imposibleng nagkakamali ako , I know I've seen it before , after all, guts don't lie , right?
MOM'S POV :
In confusion she stared at her daughter who has her full attention on her stuffs while uttering unclear words .
" What is it this time baby ?" her sudden question almost made her daughter jump in surprised .
" Are you memorizing something or is there anything bothering you again?" another question that made Jai act unconsciously as if she's hiding something.
" Nothing mom, I'm talking to myself , you know my usual thing " without bothering to look into her mother , she also began closing her luggage box , Jai's own alternative of dismissing her from throwing another question.
" Okay then " the only thing that happened to be her reply from it. Knowing that her child acts like that whenever she doesn't want to discuss something.
~ ~ Dingdong.
" I think our food is here " she informed her daughter before approaching the door .
"Good evening ma'am. Here's your food " the hotel staff greeted , doing his job.
" Thank you " She replied and smiled back.
" Please enjoy your food and your stay in our hotel" . said the staff before leaving.
" Jai baby, let's eat " called jai , who's still in the bed .
" Okay mom " and finally walk going to her .
Jaiyanna Evie Lenna Suarez POV
Nagulat ako dun sa biglang pag dating ni mama. Alam kong hindi ko naitago ang pagkabiga.
Masyado talaga akong na occupy ng logo na yun , to the point na hindi ko man lang napansin yung pag bukas ni mama ng pinto . Buti nalang di na nag usisa si mama, nasanay na siguro sa paulit ulit nyang napagmasdan na pakikipag usap ko sa sarili , pero minsan ay talagang nag uusisa pa buti nalang ngayon ay hindi na nagtanong pa , hindi ko rin naman alam kong pano ko eexplain yung about dun sa logo.
Kumakain kami ngayon , and honestly speaking that logo is still bothering me .
" Ano ba iniisip mo nak ? Bakit parang kanina kapa nag iisip dyan. Ang tagal mo bago sumubo ulit " kunot noong pagtatanong ni mama.
Gulat ko syang tiningnan.
Nako Jaiyanna , umayos ka nga .
" Nothing ma, medyo antok lang siguro ako ".
pagpapalusot ko bago muling sumubo. Pilit kong iniiwas ang magtama ang mata namin .
Tiningnan nya lang ako na parang hindi kumbinsido .
" Taposin mo na yan at nang makapag pahinga na tayo . Marami pa tayong pupuntahan bukas " saad nito habang nililigpit ang pinagkainan
Tumango lang ako at pinagpatuloy ang pagkain.
* *
Habang ang kasama ko kanina pa nakatulog heto ako gising na gising pa , pumikit man ay hindi talaga magawang maka idlip na dahil sa utak kong masyado pang abala sa pagbabalik tanaw kung kailan at saan ko nakita ang ganoong logo.
' enough Jaiyanna '
. I closed my eyes once more. Ayokong mapuyat , baka hindi ko ma enjoy yung ganda ng mga pupuntahan namin bukas dahil bangag ako.
I tried my best to fall asleep . Syempre nag dasal din ako bago ang lahat .
I always pray and ask God for that one miracle.
~ Goodnight . ~ZZzzzZzzzZzzZzz.
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My Fierce Fragile Heart
قصص عامةThis story is inspired by Enhypen members :) Battling with life problems knowing that you have someone to rely on is quiet handily but what if you need to withstand all the tough times alone because it's the only choice you have ? Exactly the situat...
